From An Illusion of Love to Real Love

In media and films we have often found glorified versions of romantic love and have dreamed of a similar relationship with its own unique ups and downs. Yet, in real life we found heartbreaks, sexual violence, exploitation and frustration. Have we been confused between illusion and love? Here are some insights to have us meditate and introspect about what true love could be.

  1. rose-2493642_960_720.jpgAttraction Is Not Real Love: Romantic attraction is often based on a fleeting hormonal surge that is sometimes called ‘love at first sight’. This could be compared with how your taste buds could react to the sight of delicious food, except that in this case it is the body, the voice, clothing, mannerisms or any other trait that pulls us towards a person. To put it squarely, it is illusion and not love because it is based on the outer qualities perceived by the senses. Instead we can see ourself and others equally as divine beings that are in essence one with God/ Goddess who is the source or creator. The quality of our relationship is based on how much divinity we can bring into our moments through an inner awareness of the spirit or soul instead of mere physical traits.
  2. drop-of-water-571956_960_720.jpgSex is Not Real Love: The pleasure derived from physical sex is related to our muscles, nerves and brains and can be compared to any other biological activity that releases tension. Meditation can help us relax our bodies, nerves and brains to such a great extent that we do not always require any stimulation from the outside. In a world where people are more meditative and relaxed, there is lesser sexual violence or consumerism because people are not always looking for physical release through somebody else. When we relax our bodies and minds through yoga and meditation, natural peace and bliss is experienced at a much deeper level that is far more joyful in comparison to the temporary high of sensual enjoyment. True love is grounded in an inner bliss of our own spirit instead of ‘consuming’ sensual pleasure from the outer being.
  3. wellness-2758149_960_720.jpgHabit Is Not Real Love: We sometimes get so used to being around someone, especially close family, friends, roommates, classmates, office colleagues, that we mistake our habituation to the other individuals with love. Our vibrational frequency can get affected by others, whether in a positive or negative way. Being with stressful people can make us feel ‘used to’ unrequired stress, while being with talkative people can keep us feeling ‘okay’ with unnecessary gossip. Such relationships neither bring us closer to divinity, nor help the other person attain any kind of self-realization. It may be a better idea to be with our-self instead of staying attached with others beyond a certain limit, even if they be our closest relations. We can give our love and affection unconditionally by being more meditative and inspiring others to be the same so that healthy space is created for self development of each individual.
  4. meditation-277889_960_720.jpgEmotional Drama Is Not Real Love: Painful separation and reunion is often depicted as the hallmark of true love in popular culture whether in plays, mythologies, poetry, novels or cinema. Betrayal, jealousy, anger, depression, manipulation, sado-masochism and other drama make for bestsellers and are eagerly grabbed off the shelves. Unhealthy associations with love can make us feel terrible for not having enough drama in our lives. Lost in illusion we seek meaning from excitement and thrills instead of through inner stillness and peace. True love however flowers when we return to our-self and feel a connection with our inner truth. If there is anything that always stays the same through all the changes on the outside, it is our own peace within.
  5. zen-2819215_960_720.jpgDependency Is Not Real Love: Most couples and families choose to stay together not due to genuine love but due to fear which is the lack of love. The fear of how one can live all by herself or himself makes many people stay on along with their spouse or relatives although what they really need is strength to be with themselves. Financial, material and emotional dependencies are illusion because somehow the universe will always send us enough to help us learn, grow and stand on our own feet. We all need to let go of any and every dependency and make our own path clear towards greater freedom and self-assurance.We can still remain together with our loved ones, out of a conscious choice and not out of dependency or fear.
  6. silhouette-165527_960_720.jpgSelfishness is Not Real Love: While we deepen our relationship with ourself through inner love, does it mean that we become less loving with others? Does self-love make us selfish and cold-hearted? Should we not take any responsibility for how we treat others or behave with other people just because we are focusing on our ‘inner self’? The truth is that our inner self awakens us all as One being through the deepest core of peace and unconditional love in our own heart and soul. In each of us is the source of compassion and loving kindness that is the all-creator. When we realize who we are through meditation, we awaken to become love which is infinite, universal and radiates peace. We may be human and make our own mistakes as we learn and grow in our spiritual path, yet at our core is an infinite stream of loving consciousness which includes all beings as it expands gently and surely throughout our life.

The choice of letting-go of illusion and accepting real or true love from the deepest level is ours in each moment of existence. 

 

Ten Ways to Know If It is True Love

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Love – this word was much misunderstood so far owing to excessive focus on sexual attraction, melodrama, pain and sorrow being depicted in media in connection with relationships. Through a rise in spiritual awareness, people are now realizing the difference between superficial relationships and the real deal. Here are ten clear differences between the two to help you enhance true love in your life:

  1. Not Desire but Compassion: Love is free of desire because it focuses on giving and not on what you can get. Its based on caring for each other emotionally and connecting spiritually as one soul. This develops a genuine base for the relationship, beyond the bio-chemical rush that is sometimes mistaken for love.
  2. Not Fear but Trust: In a shallow relationship you would be afraid of losing someone because of insecurities. These fears are based on experiences where you are unable to trust your partner. In real love we let go of insecurities and feel relaxed. There is no need to control the partner because you can intuitively sense that all is well.
  3. Not for Social reasons but for Togetherness: A false relationship is built on external foundations, whether to please your family or display your status in society or to boost your ego through your choice of partner. Real love cares for being together and sharing a personal bond with no interest in external show.
  4. Not Careless but Loyal: In a casual relationship partners can easily betray each other as they do not care enough to take responsibility for making the relationship successful. Those who invest in a real relationship take good care not to hurt each other’s feelings and respect the sanctity of the relationship.
  5. Not Hurting but Healing: They say if it doesn’t hurt it is not love. This could not be further from truth. Love does not hurt – it heals. Real love is about a deep soul connection with your partner, knowing that you are reflected in each other. It is an opportunity to heal and soothe our lifetimes of pain by learning how to nourish each other and our own self as one.
  6. Not Needy but Content: In a false relationship there is a constant need for something or someone to complete you. In real love you know you have anchored yourself in relationship where you are more than enough and not constantly looking for something or someone new. You feel complete in yourself.
  7. Not Compromising but Uplifting: It is a myth that you have to meet each other half-way by letting go of your values and cherished dreams so that you can be together. In true love both partners uplift each other and themselves to greater levels in career, finances, spiritual awareness, health and in every possible aspect of life.
  8. Not Sacrifice but Abundance: Love, thy name is sacrifice – right? In-fact you could not be more wrong. Love is all about abundance. Love recognizes that all of us can have unlimited happiness and all good things. None of us need to sacrifice our own good for the other person’s good. In-fact the more you give the more you are given by the universe. You are never left poor in love.
  9. No Guilt or Hate but Forgiveness: In superficial relationships we are afraid to express each other and pent up our emotions lest we should hurt our partner. In a real relationship you can be free of guilt knowing that complete honesty is possible without attracting hate or wrath. Both you and your partner value the qualities of forgiveness while learning the lessons consciously in every experience.
  10. Not Selfish but Unconditional: It is not love if you want something from someone. In love you love just because of love. You are not always counting what you are getting in return or thinking about how someone should please you. Both partners are spiritually awakened and able to find inner peace without loading each other with expectations. Unconditional love is not hard to find if you have it within yourself first.loveswatiprakash  Swati Prakash is a spiritual author and can be followed on www.amazon.com/author/swatiprakash

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