12 Warning Signs of An Unhealthy Relationship

We all love the concept of love. While it is rare to find a perfect relationships and we all make peace with a few imperfections along the way there are some very clear warning signs that tell us to stop and think about where we are going. We cannot manifest a healthy and happy planet, if we are entangled in partnerships that drain us out. Here are a few red signals to be mindful of:

  1. That Unsure Feeling: When we meet someone new and logic tells us they are nice whether in terms of appearance, presentation, their mood or behavior, there might be secrets untold that your psychic powers already have full knowledge about. Most of us are not completely in touch with our inert sixth sense however, and we go largely by outer appearances that are deceptive. Try to take a few deep breaths and close your eyes, looking within yourself, and breathe in and out of your heart. If the relationship is a romantic one, try to ignore what your sexual impulses are telling you for a while, and focus purely on your inner self. If your heart feels unsure, in any way, or your mind worries about this person and his or her impact in your life, do not get ahead of yourself and decide that you will handle problems when they appear, or try to ‘think’ positive when things clearly are not. Try to honour the whispers of your heart and the signals your sixth sense is picking up. You will probabally hear your intuition talk to you from inside giving your clarity.
  2. Body Language and Facial Expressions: Do they care about you? Are they listening? Do they feel comfortable in your presence in actuality? Regardless of what people say, what they think or feel may be hidden inside them. Using our perceptions we can often figure out when someone is pretending to be nice to us or being outwardly pleasant, while actually not really having any connection to us. Some people might be interested only in using us for what they need, but actually do not really like us or care about us. A relationship with them will be empty and meaningless, although socially acceptable. Look at their eyes – if they narrow their eyes, tilt their head away to their right, purse their mouth or flicker their lips one one side or both, they might want to be congenial but actually disdain you. Those who really share positive feelings with you will make positive eye contact, tilt their head forward, smile with their eyes, and it will become clear that they are genuinely happy to spend time with you, and you will enjoy your time with them.
  3. They Do Not take NO for an answer: Some people are so self-centered that they want you to only do as they say, or cater to their wishes. Many of these are energetic or emotional vampires, who want to drain you out. Any interaction with them, no matter how pleasant you aim it to be, will ultimately become like a battle of wills. Romance and sex with such people is an absolute ‘no’ simply because they will always want to be in ‘control’ of your mind and not just your body. They will guilt you into thinking that something is wrong with you if at any point of time you want a break from them, or are not interested in being with them. Sometimes people think that those who pursue them might be passionate and seriously committed as they are not taking no for an answer, but soon you will realize that their passion and committment is only to their own needs. They take relationships as a conquest and always need someone they can control to be in their life and it can be nothing but devastating to your entire life if you fall for the trap.
  4. Canniving Nature: While intelligence is a good personality trait, it is not always a sign that the person is of a kind or caring disposition. While kindness shows in feelings of warmth and relaxation, those who are cunning have their own attitudes that reflect in the way they speak or interact. You might catch them thinking or planning something when you were supposed to be looking away, as if they are ‘upto something’. They might be overly interested in politics, and even science, to the point that they do not usually follow their heart. They might be mindful but not able to be ‘heartfelt’. Their interests in life may be varied and multi-dimensional, however they may have difficulties being sensitive, emotional or empathetic to the needs of someone who needs their support or help. They will however get as much attention and sympathy to themselves when they need to, using a number of tactics and manipulations that ordinary people could never think of.
  5. Bad Habits: A person who is not interested in their own health and wellbeing, is very unlikely to be interested in contributing anything of value to your life or the planet. A big warning that someone is of a lower frequency and does not align with a positive vibrational set, is the presence of negative habits or addictions. If a pack of cigarattes that clearly states that it is injurious to health, is still something they can never do without, it is unlikely they would ever care to say no to anything toxic whatsoever. Alchohol, drugs and other intoxicants are the more obvious danger signs that tell you to avoid being close to someone, the less obvious but important ones are addictions to gadgets, sex, money, power, consumerism, unhealthy food, pharmaceuticals, gambling, coffee, fashion or anything else that seems like a crutch. Instead look for signs of inner security and independence so that you can both focus upon manifesting a wholesome lifestyle.
  6. Punitive Behavior: Some people seem like they are sympathetic and concerned about you and your wellbeing, but they also glare, pout, stare you down or raise their eyebrows whenever they are in disapproval of something. They also might want to humble you, make you feel guilty, act condascending, use foul language or blame you although it is entirely their fault. They might treat you like a child at times even if you are at their level , and be of intimidating presence when they want you to obey them and resort to physical violence or threats towards the end. A puffed up chest or important self-expression is often used by them to impress upon you that you are their slave. Their tone in speaking can often be very curt and to the point when they need you to comply with their strict instructions. They could use pointed fingers and strong voice to make you do as they wish. You do not need that kind of person to make you feel small, insecure and incapable. Instead you need someone who relaxes you and makes you feel that you are trusted, worthy and capable.
  7. Money Mindedness: One of the clear signs that someone is not right, is the way they control money for their selfish purposes, while not being kind or generous to others in need. Have you ever felt that your gifts were not reciprocated, you have kept loaning small or large amounts that never came back your way, that people asked you to help them financially stating emergencies that were fake or that they wanted you to keep being generous while being stingy when it was their turn. Controlling of one’s finances by others is also a strange pattern in such relationships. People who criticize you for your spending habits, take over your financial decisions, intrude into your business matters or overstep their boundaries when it comes to joint finances, are also not good to have as partners in any sense. This is most important in marriage and close business partnerships where one partner begins to show signs of control and domination.
  8. Jealousy: Power sruggles are never a sign of unconditional love. Some people make everything about their ego and feel threatened by who you are, whether it be your looks, popularity, success or personal choices, they make everything a matter of their concern when clearly they should be minding their own business. Some people come into our life just to bring us down. Their low sense of self-worth is evident from the fact that if they see you doing well in any area of your life, they would try to find some faults with you, or lower your energy so that you feel humbled in comparison to them. When they see you doing well in any area of life, it makes them feel like they have to either be better than you in that department, or somehow take something away from your life so that you both could be at the same level. This is terrible as it becomes an overall loss and nobody gains anything whatsoever.
  9. Dishonesty: Sometimes due to being overly trusting, we take everything stated to us as a fact instead of being alert for signs that someone could be lying or cheating on us. Indeed some people are so deceptive that the way they speak seems to flatter or impress even the most intelligent people. Manipulation is a trait that is not that easy to decipher and people who get away with it, can use this feature of their personality to control the minds of everyone around them. One must therefore be warned of early signs of dishonesty, even if they seem to be ‘white lies’. Those who are habitual of lying will also hide things that are shameful in the early stages of a relationship. Their entire objective is to impress you and make you feel so positive that you will think you are indeed lucky to have these individuals in your life. On closer observation, you will find many secrets that they should have revealed if they were really open and honest at the beginning, and many more undercover.
  10. Sympathy Seeking: If you are someone who believes in the virtues of kindness, compassion and grace, you are certainly going to be praised for the same. At the same time you will also become the target of those who use your kind and forgiving nature to get away with terrible misdeeds. It may be a good idea to remember that we are here in this life, not to please other individuals but to learn how to create a better world from within. By encouraging others to remain unethical and to not face any consequences of their harmful actions we allow evil to continue. Those who lack basic ethics, expect compassion from others even if they hurt and harm others all the time, and they can pretend to cry, suffer and be in great pain just to make sure you do not leave them, or seek assistance from anyone else who might be able to help you in breaking free from their vicious control. If at anytime you stand up against injustice, or for your rights and that of others, they will guilt-trip you into letting them get their way.
  11. Lack of Empathy: Do you feel your friend or close companion does not really care about the planet, shows disregard for animal rights or has no interest in any real charity or cause, except themselves. People who lack empathy also lack vision or determinination to support others or to be of use to the world. These people are unfortunately very common. Every other person in the world would, for example, claim to be a kind person, but refuse to buy products that are not ‘cruelty free’ thereby indirectly contributing to the hurting of other creatures. For most of such people, their priorities are convenience, pleasure or their need to be in control of their decisions, so much so that they rarely care to think of how their decisions affect others or the planet as a whole. Morality and conscience are very hard concepts for some people to grasp as they strictly go by how they can ‘fit in’ along with the rest of the system, like robots or machines in the Matrix of human consciousness. They strive for outer or materialistic success but remain hollow from within.
  12. Blaming: A common trait of people who are negative, is that they refuse to take any cognizance of their actions and instead blame you for everything at every step of the way. They feel that offense is the best defense, and therefore when faced with any prospect of introspection and self-transformation, they bring the focus back to you, pointing out your mistakes instead. It becomes impossible to change anything in such a relationship, because the person is totally not ready for change, and instead will want you to change for them, or dance to their tunes. If you try to get any professional to help you, they will use even that opportunity to make you feel like the culprit, for example in cases of domestic violence and partner crimes…it is very common that the victim gets blamed and the abuser pretends to be the ‘real victim’. As a result numerous hours or years will be drained in your trying to justify that you are, infact not guilty.

In short, when it comes to dangerous relationships, just as in the case of illness, disease and climate-change ‘prevention is always better than cure.’

Seven Relationship Wrongs That Are Actually Right!

They say there is a silver lining in every dark cloud and a positive side to everything that seems negative. Relationships are one of the areas of our life where we face the maximum challenges. Yet could these be opportunities in disguise? Here are seven things that could be good even if they seem bad at first.

  1. Not Finding a Mate: This can sometimes be a blessing indirectly because you have time to look after your own individual needs such as your dreams, ambitions, hobbies and your spiritual learning. Perhaps getting hitched early in life was not as good for you as society, family or friends had you believe. What do they know? Take your time, no matter how many more years..it is worth it! love-1333508_960_720
  2. Breaking Up: Think you lost the man or woman of your dreams forever? No, you actually made space for the right person to finally come into your life by letting go of someone who was not meant to stay. Your life is much better without someone who does not really value you as much as they should. Perhaps you will find love within yourself or with someone much better than you ever thought before. Now, smile!hearbreak.jpg
  3. Not Having a Baby: We know how much pressure couples face from their parents and society to reproduce within a couple of years into their marriage. You may dodge the issue initially….but what if the biological clock is ticking by and you have no luck with having a baby yet? Should you be heading to a fertility clinic? Have you ever thought of how much you really love each other and how a kid is not an absolute necessity for you in your relationship? Satisfy your parental cravings by looking after pets, family members, yourself, a good cause or adopt a child if you still want a baby. It can be just as rewarding.coupple babyshoes
  4. Unexpected Baby: Not planning a baby but well, the tests show you are about to be a parent. Should you worry? Aborting the foetus would be no less than murder for many of us. Still going ahead and having the baby can actually help you realize the side of you that you never explored before. You might find that you needed this experience for your own self development and you might enjoy parenthood a lot more than you ever expected. Go and get that nursery up!pregnant.jpg
  5. Arguments, Fights, Anger: Relationships are not always a bed of roses, there are thorns as well. What if all those fights you have with your partner are actually a way you are processing several lifetimes of wrong beliefs and transforming them slowly but surely. Each time you argue but choose to keep loving each other instead of falling apart, you are strengthening the faith you have in each other and your relationship is getting stronger and more purified. As long as you are not hurting each other, it may get better and better day by day until one day you might even stop fighting for good. Ok, maybe just a bit of an argument every now and then…could be fun!argument-238529_960_720.jpg
  6. Long Distance: Moving apart for some reason for a period of time…unable to meet each other often? Absence can make the heart grow fonder. Or it could be a deathknell to your relationship. In either case it will be a test of your love. Your faith, honesty, trust and patience are all revealed in these times. Give it a go and see if it still works out eventually. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t quite the right one.old-letters-436502_960_720
  7. No relationship: Maybe you are not the kind who even needs a relationship. Who says everyone must have a partner in life? The only rules are the ones we believe in. Many of us are not karmically attracted to another person because we are through with much of relationship karma. Being content and happy with yourself can be spiritually liberating so let people know you are single and happy for good if they bother you with their questions without feeling that there is something wrong with you. Love yourself! You are enough.reflecting-958602_960_720

Do you feel the same way or have a different perspective? In any case, please feel free to share your views on thepositivemedia@gmail.com and you could be featured next!

Swati & Bhaskar

swatiprakash tinybd

P.S. Confused between head and heart? Reconcile the difference. Checkout Go, Willy Nilly! On Paperback & Kindle.

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