Saying the Word: The One that Must Not be Named

Last evening, I went through a lot of turmoil within- unexplained and without any tangible reasons; at least at that moment. I was having a conversation with my mom on a call and at one point of time during the conversation, the restless in me increased to an extent that I felt breathless.

I shared what I felt with my mother.. and she suddenly started to discuss all the instances of rape that has happened with children. She specifically spoke about a case of a 4 year old being raped by her teacher. The thing to note here is that my mom has never spoken to me on this topic… and well it came as a surprise. And as she spoke, I felt a terrible rage erupt within me! I wanted to lash out at her for sharing this at the moment when I was already feeling unsettled.

I quickly ended the conversation. As I disconnected the call, I felt this sudden rush of emotions and I wanted to howl and cry.

The earth is crying, shaking in despair,
She is hurting, she is angry at her children,her heir.
She wants to crash and burn, turn everything bare..
She is trembling with anger, screaming in pain,
As we are losing sight of all that’s humane.

Raping women and children, what is this that man is doing?
Killing and plundering, lying and corruption; it’s all going to be our undoing.

She is angry, I can feel it in me today
She is terribly sad, and wants to lash out in her way.

Mankind, take notice, do not let her suffer
The woman and child you rape are your own mother and daughter.

For we all come from the Source
We are but its fragment,
So love a little more, be a little more compassionate,
This is just my two cents…

earth cryI wrote this on facebook and soon saw a comment on my post saying an earthquake had been felt a short while ago. Now… I began to understand the rush of all the unexplained turbulence within…. But I still felt agitated. And once again, as it happens often with me, there was synchronicity. This time one of my mentors, commented on that post saying how she went through the same emotions and turbulence just a day ago. I knew I had to talk to her …and I am so glad I did, for I figured out what it is that the Universe wants me to talk about and educate people of if possible.

It’s A Hush Hush word but I’ll say it out loud

SEX!

There i said it..The world didn’t end.

We as a nation and humans have turned the word and the act into a ‘dirty’ word. Sex is something we do only behind closed doors, never to speak of it….

Like ‘Voldemort’!

There, I named ‘YouKnowWho’ too!And no I ain’t Avada Kedavara yet!

Jokes apart, sex is a very natural act, a beautiful one, between people who agree to it… Two consenting adults!

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What we (our parents and grandparents and so forth) have done is created shame surrounding the word and act itself.. a forbidden pleasure.. an act that only man has control over and only man is supposed to enjoy.

Now that more and more women are becoming empowered, standing up for themselves in every aspect, the men are not the dominant species anymore. Now men with twisted mind, who for so many reasons are beyond reproach, still try to dominate. If they cannot dominate their wives and mothers, or a grown up woman in general, who do you think they can? The children.. That and so much more lies beneath this cruel act of raping a child.

But how can we help alleviate the issue?

Let us not allow sex to be a dirty word anymore. Let us first teach our boy child to respect women and girls and see them as their equals. Let us teach our girls the same too. Let’s make our boys understand and even appreciate women as powerful beings. Let us show them that the new normal is their mother and sisters being empowered and having a choice to do what they want – roam the world if they want to or be a stay at home mom whose world is her kitchen and her family, if chooses that for herself… Both are to be respected. Remind our children of the ancient wisdom women possess. Normalise the days of bleeding that all women go through.

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There is so much more I could write, and I will for sure. But for now let us take a small step .. let us raise sons and daughters who respect each other and see each other as beautiful human beings and not just a way to establish their dominance as a superior gender. Both men and women are equal. Without Yin, there’s no Yang.

dilpreet

Dilpreet is a Holistic Healer, Tarot and Angel expert who started exploring spirituality and various modalities at a young age and is consumed with a desire to help people improve their life. She believes in practicing all that she learns before she preaches it to others. That brings in an authenticity that inspires others and leaves a positive impact on them. More about her on http://www.lovinglightoftheangels.com

 

From An Illusion of Love to Real Love

In media and films we have often found glorified versions of romantic love and have dreamed of a similar relationship with its own unique ups and downs. Yet, in real life we found heartbreaks, sexual violence, exploitation and frustration. Have we been confused between illusion and love? Here are some insights to have us meditate and introspect about what true love could be.

  1. rose-2493642_960_720.jpgAttraction Is Not Real Love: Romantic attraction is often based on a fleeting hormonal surge that is sometimes called ‘love at first sight’. This could be compared with how your taste buds could react to the sight of delicious food, except that in this case it is the body, the voice, clothing, mannerisms or any other trait that pulls us towards a person. To put it squarely, it is illusion and not love because it is based on the outer qualities perceived by the senses. Instead we can see ourself and others equally as divine beings that are in essence one with God/ Goddess who is the source or creator. The quality of our relationship is based on how much divinity we can bring into our moments through an inner awareness of the spirit or soul instead of mere physical traits.
  2. drop-of-water-571956_960_720.jpgSex is Not Real Love: The pleasure derived from physical sex is related to our muscles, nerves and brains and can be compared to any other biological activity that releases tension. Meditation can help us relax our bodies, nerves and brains to such a great extent that we do not always require any stimulation from the outside. In a world where people are more meditative and relaxed, there is lesser sexual violence or consumerism because people are not always looking for physical release through somebody else. When we relax our bodies and minds through yoga and meditation, natural peace and bliss is experienced at a much deeper level that is far more joyful in comparison to the temporary high of sensual enjoyment. True love is grounded in an inner bliss of our own spirit instead of ‘consuming’ sensual pleasure from the outer being.
  3. wellness-2758149_960_720.jpgHabit Is Not Real Love: We sometimes get so used to being around someone, especially close family, friends, roommates, classmates, office colleagues, that we mistake our habituation to the other individuals with love. Our vibrational frequency can get affected by others, whether in a positive or negative way. Being with stressful people can make us feel ‘used to’ unrequired stress, while being with talkative people can keep us feeling ‘okay’ with unnecessary gossip. Such relationships neither bring us closer to divinity, nor help the other person attain any kind of self-realization. It may be a better idea to be with our-self instead of staying attached with others beyond a certain limit, even if they be our closest relations. We can give our love and affection unconditionally by being more meditative and inspiring others to be the same so that healthy space is created for self development of each individual.
  4. meditation-277889_960_720.jpgEmotional Drama Is Not Real Love: Painful separation and reunion is often depicted as the hallmark of true love in popular culture whether in plays, mythologies, poetry, novels or cinema. Betrayal, jealousy, anger, depression, manipulation, sado-masochism and other drama make for bestsellers and are eagerly grabbed off the shelves. Unhealthy associations with love can make us feel terrible for not having enough drama in our lives. Lost in illusion we seek meaning from excitement and thrills instead of through inner stillness and peace. True love however flowers when we return to our-self and feel a connection with our inner truth. If there is anything that always stays the same through all the changes on the outside, it is our own peace within.
  5. zen-2819215_960_720.jpgDependency Is Not Real Love: Most couples and families choose to stay together not due to genuine love but due to fear which is the lack of love. The fear of how one can live all by herself or himself makes many people stay on along with their spouse or relatives although what they really need is strength to be with themselves. Financial, material and emotional dependencies are illusion because somehow the universe will always send us enough to help us learn, grow and stand on our own feet. We all need to let go of any and every dependency and make our own path clear towards greater freedom and self-assurance.We can still remain together with our loved ones, out of a conscious choice and not out of dependency or fear.
  6. silhouette-165527_960_720.jpgSelfishness is Not Real Love: While we deepen our relationship with ourself through inner love, does it mean that we become less loving with others? Does self-love make us selfish and cold-hearted? Should we not take any responsibility for how we treat others or behave with other people just because we are focusing on our ‘inner self’? The truth is that our inner self awakens us all as One being through the deepest core of peace and unconditional love in our own heart and soul. In each of us is the source of compassion and loving kindness that is the all-creator. When we realize who we are through meditation, we awaken to become love which is infinite, universal and radiates peace. We may be human and make our own mistakes as we learn and grow in our spiritual path, yet at our core is an infinite stream of loving consciousness which includes all beings as it expands gently and surely throughout our life.

The choice of letting-go of illusion and accepting real or true love from the deepest level is ours in each moment of existence. 

 

Ten Ways to Know If It is True Love

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Love – this word was much misunderstood so far owing to excessive focus on sexual attraction, melodrama, pain and sorrow being depicted in media in connection with relationships. Through a rise in spiritual awareness, people are now realizing the difference between superficial relationships and the real deal. Here are ten clear differences between the two to help you enhance true love in your life:

  1. Not Desire but Compassion: Love is free of desire because it focuses on giving and not on what you can get. Its based on caring for each other emotionally and connecting spiritually as one soul. This develops a genuine base for the relationship, beyond the bio-chemical rush that is sometimes mistaken for love.
  2. Not Fear but Trust: In a shallow relationship you would be afraid of losing someone because of insecurities. These fears are based on experiences where you are unable to trust your partner. In real love we let go of insecurities and feel relaxed. There is no need to control the partner because you can intuitively sense that all is well.
  3. Not for Social reasons but for Togetherness: A false relationship is built on external foundations, whether to please your family or display your status in society or to boost your ego through your choice of partner. Real love cares for being together and sharing a personal bond with no interest in external show.
  4. Not Careless but Loyal: In a casual relationship partners can easily betray each other as they do not care enough to take responsibility for making the relationship successful. Those who invest in a real relationship take good care not to hurt each other’s feelings and respect the sanctity of the relationship.
  5. Not Hurting but Healing: They say if it doesn’t hurt it is not love. This could not be further from truth. Love does not hurt – it heals. Real love is about a deep soul connection with your partner, knowing that you are reflected in each other. It is an opportunity to heal and soothe our lifetimes of pain by learning how to nourish each other and our own self as one.
  6. Not Needy but Content: In a false relationship there is a constant need for something or someone to complete you. In real love you know you have anchored yourself in relationship where you are more than enough and not constantly looking for something or someone new. You feel complete in yourself.
  7. Not Compromising but Uplifting: It is a myth that you have to meet each other half-way by letting go of your values and cherished dreams so that you can be together. In true love both partners uplift each other and themselves to greater levels in career, finances, spiritual awareness, health and in every possible aspect of life.
  8. Not Sacrifice but Abundance: Love, thy name is sacrifice – right? In-fact you could not be more wrong. Love is all about abundance. Love recognizes that all of us can have unlimited happiness and all good things. None of us need to sacrifice our own good for the other person’s good. In-fact the more you give the more you are given by the universe. You are never left poor in love.
  9. No Guilt or Hate but Forgiveness: In superficial relationships we are afraid to express each other and pent up our emotions lest we should hurt our partner. In a real relationship you can be free of guilt knowing that complete honesty is possible without attracting hate or wrath. Both you and your partner value the qualities of forgiveness while learning the lessons consciously in every experience.
  10. Not Selfish but Unconditional: It is not love if you want something from someone. In love you love just because of love. You are not always counting what you are getting in return or thinking about how someone should please you. Both partners are spiritually awakened and able to find inner peace without loading each other with expectations. Unconditional love is not hard to find if you have it within yourself first.loveswatiprakash  Swati Prakash is a spiritual author and can be followed on www.amazon.com/author/swatiprakash

Five Ways to Heal the Inner Child

We were born as natural and honest as can be, yet adults around us, including our parents, teachers, and society, imprinted their beliefs upon our our minds both knowingly and unknowingly. We learnt many things that we now need to unlearn. We repressed our real self and became angry, unhappy adults as a result. The inner child still stayed within us… we carry it everywhere…its a part of our subconscious that still awaits healing.

Here are some tips to heal our inner child. Note that not only would you improve your relationship with yourself but also with your own children and with children around too once you practice these suggestions.

  1. Let Her Be: As adults we sometimes impose our rigid rules upon our children. We ask them to be polite, to focus on manners, to sit and listen, to obey orders, to dress to conform, to behave like adults…even if it is actually better for them to play, to explore,to be unruly and to express themselves authentically – to actually be child-like at that point. When we impose rigid rules all the time on kids, it indicates that our own inner child is being equally caged and constricted by us. We have started living a false life based on rules defined by society instead of following our heart. In truth we need to set ourselves free. Not all rules are ‘bad’ and we do need to guide our kids and our ‘inner child’ as responsible parents. Yet, to be overly focused on outer rules and norms is terrible and kills the inner-child’s need to learn through their own inner reasoning. Let our children Be, the way they are meant to be…to be kids and not little adults. And let our inner child Be too!kid-1241817_960_720.jpg
  2. Unconditional Love: When we are afraid of holding and cuddling our kids…and give them a bit of love only when they do something as per our conditions, it gives their subconscious mind a message that they are not really loved. True love is unconditional. Our children …just like animals…are naturally loving. They are here to remind us that we need to be unconditional and love ourselves truly. Do we really believe that we are worthy of our own love? Do we think we will be lovable if we are richer, more beautiful, more famous, more  successful….more of anything that the world makes us believe in? Do we seek happiness by following examples thrown at us from every media, advertising and marketing to become mere consumers …always looking for something new that will make us feel better about ourselves? Or are we supposed to look within and love our inner self which is beyond materialism? Give yourself a big divine hug. And your children too…just like that!mom-1006328_960_720
  3. Let Her Make Mistakes: How often do we scold our kids when they make a slip while trying to handle more than they could? Or, be overprotective so as to prevent them from learning through mistakes. Similarly…how often do we criticize ourselves when we are unable to meet anyone’s expectations? We feel the need to be perfect…to not err and fall…Yet, that is the way kids learn…by trying, failing and trying again. This is an important message kids give to all of us who are trying. Let there be no struggle in your trying. Do not let your inner adult scold you each time you fall or worry about falling. Keep doing your best joyfully without obsessing about what others are thinking. It is not about who is observing you or judging you. Its about being sincere and having fun in life – at the same time. Its possible!toy-1168894_960_720
  4. Follow Intuition not Rigid Routines: As children we are born with some natural gifts. Mother nature is our real mother who has always given us what we need. Our childhood instincts are to cry when we need feeding because it is necessary for our survival. We sleep when we want to and wake up when we feel like as a child instead of following the zonal clocks, because our inner time system is more important. We eat when we feel like and do not eat when we need not to eat…because that is the right thing to do. Yet as adults we forget to follow our own natural instincts. These instincts are in-fact aligned with our intuition guiding us from within. Something in us knows what we need at any point. As adults it is necessary to not become too artificial in our ‘routines’ and to remain spontaneous for the sake of our own health and happiness.  We fall ill and suffer whenever we go out of touch with our inner self. Our kids and our inner child need us to be intuitive now.sleep
  5. The World is a Reflection: Kids are playful and focused on having fun instead of worrying about the world. Yet, in the process of ‘growing them up’ we teach our kids to regard the world as fixed and central to our existence. We wrongly program our own inner child too…that life is full of challenges, problems are inevitable, the world is full of evil…we need to accept things ‘as they are’ and we need to compete and stay ahead of ‘others’ to get what we want. For our inner child, the world is just a playground…everything comes to the child magically…someone always gives them all they need…they attract what they want. Yet our adult self reduces them to nothing and makes the world more important. In truth the world is a reflection. magical kids.jpgA healthy inner-child would know that:
    • The world is not a ‘bad’ place full of problems and threats
    • People and things that we encounter are connected back to our mind
    • It’s not about what others think of you or expect of you
    • Mistakes are okay as long as we keep doing what we love
    • Love yourself and others, be authentic not opportunistic
    • The world is a playground and we are just experiencing it joyfully
    • The world is magickal – a mere reflection of the inner world
    • Be natural, be intuitive, be self guided, create your own rules with love
    • Enjoy! Life is wonderful!swatiprakash

      Swati Prakash is a spiritual author and can be followed on www.amazon.com/author/swatiprakash

Seven Relationship Wrongs That Are Actually Right!

They say there is a silver lining in every dark cloud and a positive side to everything that seems negative. Relationships are one of the areas of our life where we face the maximum challenges. Yet could these be opportunities in disguise? Here are seven things that could be good even if they seem bad at first.

  1. Not Finding a Mate: This can sometimes be a blessing indirectly because you have time to look after your own individual needs such as your dreams, ambitions, hobbies and your spiritual learning. Perhaps getting hitched early in life was not as good for you as society, family or friends had you believe. What do they know? Take your time, no matter how many more years..it is worth it! love-1333508_960_720
  2. Breaking Up: Think you lost the man or woman of your dreams forever? No, you actually made space for the right person to finally come into your life by letting go of someone who was not meant to stay. Your life is much better without someone who does not really value you as much as they should. Perhaps you will find love within yourself or with someone much better than you ever thought before. Now, smile!hearbreak.jpg
  3. Not Having a Baby: We know how much pressure couples face from their parents and society to reproduce within a couple of years into their marriage. You may dodge the issue initially….but what if the biological clock is ticking by and you have no luck with having a baby yet? Should you be heading to a fertility clinic? Have you ever thought of how much you really love each other and how a kid is not an absolute necessity for you in your relationship? Satisfy your parental cravings by looking after pets, family members, yourself, a good cause or adopt a child if you still want a baby. It can be just as rewarding.coupple babyshoes
  4. Unexpected Baby: Not planning a baby but well, the tests show you are about to be a parent. Should you worry? Aborting the foetus would be no less than murder for many of us. Still going ahead and having the baby can actually help you realize the side of you that you never explored before. You might find that you needed this experience for your own self development and you might enjoy parenthood a lot more than you ever expected. Go and get that nursery up!pregnant.jpg
  5. Arguments, Fights, Anger: Relationships are not always a bed of roses, there are thorns as well. What if all those fights you have with your partner are actually a way you are processing several lifetimes of wrong beliefs and transforming them slowly but surely. Each time you argue but choose to keep loving each other instead of falling apart, you are strengthening the faith you have in each other and your relationship is getting stronger and more purified. As long as you are not hurting each other, it may get better and better day by day until one day you might even stop fighting for good. Ok, maybe just a bit of an argument every now and then…could be fun!argument-238529_960_720.jpg
  6. Long Distance: Moving apart for some reason for a period of time…unable to meet each other often? Absence can make the heart grow fonder. Or it could be a deathknell to your relationship. In either case it will be a test of your love. Your faith, honesty, trust and patience are all revealed in these times. Give it a go and see if it still works out eventually. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t quite the right one.old-letters-436502_960_720
  7. No relationship: Maybe you are not the kind who even needs a relationship. Who says everyone must have a partner in life? The only rules are the ones we believe in. Many of us are not karmically attracted to another person because we are through with much of relationship karma. Being content and happy with yourself can be spiritually liberating so let people know you are single and happy for good if they bother you with their questions without feeling that there is something wrong with you. Love yourself! You are enough.reflecting-958602_960_720

Do you feel the same way or have a different perspective? In any case, please feel free to share your views on thepositivemedia@gmail.com and you could be featured next!

Swati & Bhaskar

swatiprakash tinybd

P.S. Confused between head and heart? Reconcile the difference. Checkout Go, Willy Nilly! On Paperback & Kindle.

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Available on Amazon.

 

 

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