Ten Ways to Know If It is True Love

heart-1616504_960_720

Love – this word was much misunderstood so far owing to excessive focus on sexual attraction, melodrama, pain and sorrow being depicted in media in connection with relationships. Through a rise in spiritual awareness, people are now realizing the difference between superficial relationships and the real deal. Here are ten clear differences between the two to help you enhance true love in your life:

  1. Not Desire but Compassion: Love is free of desire because it focuses on giving and not on what you can get. Its based on caring for each other emotionally and connecting spiritually as one soul. This develops a genuine base for the relationship, beyond the bio-chemical rush that is sometimes mistaken for love.
  2. Not Fear but Trust: In a shallow relationship you would be afraid of losing someone because of insecurities. These fears are based on experiences where you are unable to trust your partner. In real love we let go of insecurities and feel relaxed. There is no need to control the partner because you can intuitively sense that all is well.
  3. Not for Social reasons but for Togetherness: A false relationship is built on external foundations, whether to please your family or display your status in society or to boost your ego through your choice of partner. Real love cares for being together and sharing a personal bond with no interest in external show.
  4. Not Careless but Loyal: In a casual relationship partners can easily betray each other as they do not care enough to take responsibility for making the relationship successful. Those who invest in a real relationship take good care not to hurt each other’s feelings and respect the sanctity of the relationship.
  5. Not Hurting but Healing: They say if it doesn’t hurt it is not love. This could not be further from truth. Love does not hurt – it heals. Real love is about a deep soul connection with your partner, knowing that you are reflected in each other. It is an opportunity to heal and soothe our lifetimes of pain by learning how to nourish each other and our own self as one.
  6. Not Needy but Content: In a false relationship there is a constant need for something or someone to complete you. In real love you know you have anchored yourself in relationship where you are more than enough and not constantly looking for something or someone new. You feel complete in yourself.
  7. Not Compromising but Uplifting: It is a myth that you have to meet each other half-way by letting go of your values and cherished dreams so that you can be together. In true love both partners uplift each other and themselves to greater levels in career, finances, spiritual awareness, health and in every possible aspect of life.
  8. Not Sacrifice but Abundance: Love, thy name is sacrifice – right? In-fact you could not be more wrong. Love is all about abundance. Love recognizes that all of us can have unlimited happiness and all good things. None of us need to sacrifice our own good for the other person’s good. In-fact the more you give the more you are given by the universe. You are never left poor in love.
  9. No Guilt or Hate but Forgiveness: In superficial relationships we are afraid to express each other and pent up our emotions lest we should hurt our partner. In a real relationship you can be free of guilt knowing that complete honesty is possible without attracting hate or wrath. Both you and your partner value the qualities of forgiveness while learning the lessons consciously in every experience.
  10. Not Selfish but Unconditional: It is not love if you want something from someone. In love you love just because of love. You are not always counting what you are getting in return or thinking about how someone should please you. Both partners are spiritually awakened and able to find inner peace without loading each other with expectations. Unconditional love is not hard to find if you have it within yourself first.loveswatiprakash  Swati Prakash is a spiritual author and can be followed on www.amazon.com/author/swatiprakash

Five Ways to Heal the Inner Child

We were born as natural and honest as can be, yet adults around us, including our parents, teachers, and society, imprinted their beliefs upon our our minds both knowingly and unknowingly. We learnt many things that we now need to unlearn. We repressed our real self and became angry, unhappy adults as a result. The inner child still stayed within us… we carry it everywhere…its a part of our subconscious that still awaits healing.

Here are some tips to heal our inner child. Note that not only would you improve your relationship with yourself but also with your own children and with children around too once you practice these suggestions.

  1. Let Her Be: As adults we sometimes impose our rigid rules upon our children. We ask them to be polite, to focus on manners, to sit and listen, to obey orders, to dress to conform, to behave like adults…even if it is actually better for them to play, to explore,to be unruly and to express themselves authentically – to actually be child-like at that point. When we impose rigid rules all the time on kids, it indicates that our own inner child is being equally caged and constricted by us. We have started living a false life based on rules defined by society instead of following our heart. In truth we need to set ourselves free. Not all rules are ‘bad’ and we do need to guide our kids and our ‘inner child’ as responsible parents. Yet, to be overly focused on outer rules and norms is terrible and kills the inner-child’s need to learn through their own inner reasoning. Let our children Be, the way they are meant to be…to be kids and not little adults. And let our inner child Be too!kid-1241817_960_720.jpg
  2. Unconditional Love: When we are afraid of holding and cuddling our kids…and give them a bit of love only when they do something as per our conditions, it gives their subconscious mind a message that they are not really loved. True love is unconditional. Our children …just like animals…are naturally loving. They are here to remind us that we need to be unconditional and love ourselves truly. Do we really believe that we are worthy of our own love? Do we think we will be lovable if we are richer, more beautiful, more famous, more  successful….more of anything that the world makes us believe in? Do we seek happiness by following examples thrown at us from every media, advertising and marketing to become mere consumers …always looking for something new that will make us feel better about ourselves? Or are we supposed to look within and love our inner self which is beyond materialism? Give yourself a big divine hug. And your children too…just like that!mom-1006328_960_720
  3. Let Her Make Mistakes: How often do we scold our kids when they make a slip while trying to handle more than they could? Or, be overprotective so as to prevent them from learning through mistakes. Similarly…how often do we criticize ourselves when we are unable to meet anyone’s expectations? We feel the need to be perfect…to not err and fall…Yet, that is the way kids learn…by trying, failing and trying again. This is an important message kids give to all of us who are trying. Let there be no struggle in your trying. Do not let your inner adult scold you each time you fall or worry about falling. Keep doing your best joyfully without obsessing about what others are thinking. It is not about who is observing you or judging you. Its about being sincere and having fun in life – at the same time. Its possible!toy-1168894_960_720
  4. Follow Intuition not Rigid Routines: As children we are born with some natural gifts. Mother nature is our real mother who has always given us what we need. Our childhood instincts are to cry when we need feeding because it is necessary for our survival. We sleep when we want to and wake up when we feel like as a child instead of following the zonal clocks, because our inner time system is more important. We eat when we feel like and do not eat when we need not to eat…because that is the right thing to do. Yet as adults we forget to follow our own natural instincts. These instincts are in-fact aligned with our intuition guiding us from within. Something in us knows what we need at any point. As adults it is necessary to not become too artificial in our ‘routines’ and to remain spontaneous for the sake of our own health and happiness.  We fall ill and suffer whenever we go out of touch with our inner self. Our kids and our inner child need us to be intuitive now.sleep
  5. The World is a Reflection: Kids are playful and focused on having fun instead of worrying about the world. Yet, in the process of ‘growing them up’ we teach our kids to regard the world as fixed and central to our existence. We wrongly program our own inner child too…that life is full of challenges, problems are inevitable, the world is full of evil…we need to accept things ‘as they are’ and we need to compete and stay ahead of ‘others’ to get what we want. For our inner child, the world is just a playground…everything comes to the child magically…someone always gives them all they need…they attract what they want. Yet our adult self reduces them to nothing and makes the world more important. In truth the world is a reflection. magical kids.jpgA healthy inner-child would know that:
    • The world is not a ‘bad’ place full of problems and threats
    • People and things that we encounter are connected back to our mind
    • It’s not about what others think of you or expect of you
    • Mistakes are okay as long as we keep doing what we love
    • Love yourself and others, be authentic not opportunistic
    • The world is a playground and we are just experiencing it joyfully
    • The world is magickal – a mere reflection of the inner world
    • Be natural, be intuitive, be self guided, create your own rules with love
    • Enjoy! Life is wonderful!swatiprakash

      Swati Prakash is a spiritual author and can be followed on www.amazon.com/author/swatiprakash

Seven Relationship Wrongs That Are Actually Right!

They say there is a silver lining in every dark cloud and a positive side to everything that seems negative. Relationships are one of the areas of our life where we face the maximum challenges. Yet could these be opportunities in disguise? Here are seven things that could be good even if they seem bad at first.

  1. Not Finding a Mate: This can sometimes be a blessing indirectly because you have time to look after your own individual needs such as your dreams, ambitions, hobbies and your spiritual learning. Perhaps getting hitched early in life was not as good for you as society, family or friends had you believe. What do they know? Take your time, no matter how many more years..it is worth it! love-1333508_960_720
  2. Breaking Up: Think you lost the man or woman of your dreams forever? No, you actually made space for the right person to finally come into your life by letting go of someone who was not meant to stay. Your life is much better without someone who does not really value you as much as they should. Perhaps you will find love within yourself or with someone much better than you ever thought before. Now, smile!hearbreak.jpg
  3. Not Having a Baby: We know how much pressure couples face from their parents and society to reproduce within a couple of years into their marriage. You may dodge the issue initially….but what if the biological clock is ticking by and you have no luck with having a baby yet? Should you be heading to a fertility clinic? Have you ever thought of how much you really love each other and how a kid is not an absolute necessity for you in your relationship? Satisfy your parental cravings by looking after pets, family members, yourself, a good cause or adopt a child if you still want a baby. It can be just as rewarding.coupple babyshoes
  4. Unexpected Baby: Not planning a baby but well, the tests show you are about to be a parent. Should you worry? Aborting the foetus would be no less than murder for many of us. Still going ahead and having the baby can actually help you realize the side of you that you never explored before. You might find that you needed this experience for your own self development and you might enjoy parenthood a lot more than you ever expected. Go and get that nursery up!pregnant.jpg
  5. Arguments, Fights, Anger: Relationships are not always a bed of roses, there are thorns as well. What if all those fights you have with your partner are actually a way you are processing several lifetimes of wrong beliefs and transforming them slowly but surely. Each time you argue but choose to keep loving each other instead of falling apart, you are strengthening the faith you have in each other and your relationship is getting stronger and more purified. As long as you are not hurting each other, it may get better and better day by day until one day you might even stop fighting for good. Ok, maybe just a bit of an argument every now and then…could be fun!argument-238529_960_720.jpg
  6. Long Distance: Moving apart for some reason for a period of time…unable to meet each other often? Absence can make the heart grow fonder. Or it could be a deathknell to your relationship. In either case it will be a test of your love. Your faith, honesty, trust and patience are all revealed in these times. Give it a go and see if it still works out eventually. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t quite the right one.old-letters-436502_960_720
  7. No relationship: Maybe you are not the kind who even needs a relationship. Who says everyone must have a partner in life? The only rules are the ones we believe in. Many of us are not karmically attracted to another person because we are through with much of relationship karma. Being content and happy with yourself can be spiritually liberating so let people know you are single and happy for good if they bother you with their questions without feeling that there is something wrong with you. Love yourself! You are enough.reflecting-958602_960_720

Do you feel the same way or have a different perspective? In any case, please feel free to share your views on thepositivemedia@gmail.com and you could be featured next!

Swati & Bhaskar

swatiprakash tinybd

P.S. Confused between head and heart? Reconcile the difference. Checkout Go, Willy Nilly! On Paperback & Kindle.

frontcover1
Available on Amazon.

 

 

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: