Personal Awakening: Losing Friends and Relationships

One of the facts of Ascension I am realizing is that we are going to lose friends and have fewer people in our life. For example in my personal life, what I am seeing is that the moment we share anything about domestic abuse with our spiritual friends they start treating us a bit differently, as if we need healing personally, as if we need advise from them, as if we are at a lower level and others at higher level. Being vegan does not help either, it repels most people away, people who simply hate you for reminding them that all animals feel pain and have emotions like humans do.

Domestic abuse and rape are some of the most common of all phenomena among humans, especially females. There will hardly be one female on earth who has not had an experience of being shouted at teased, made to feel ashamed, sexually abused or dominated upon. This does not mean that it was the fault of the victim and being a victim does not mean that we are not aware of our rights or not on the right path and need others to control us even more. To the contrary it means we are aware and left relationships finally, even at a financial loss to us and thus no longer a victim. The financial and career loss I had as a result of walking out of abuse was immense, not just because of the loss because of the way my work and profits were taken away from me due to control by family members (first my father, then sister aunt and then my, partner all very controlling persons who constantly wanted to subdue me and dictate my career choices) but also because of the general attitude of other spiritual clients and associates who just avoid you because you disclosed your personal life to them or use knowledge of your personal life against you to shame you.

Domestic abuse does not mean that someone spiritual who is good at their work should not longer get work or be respected in society because they were a victim but the vibes I have received from other ‘spiritual’ friends are of sympathy and as if they are preaching and not respecting me as a professional any longer. No longer do they invite me as a speaker at their events, or as stallholders at their festivals for Awaken the Goddess. 1111 events, Mind Body Soul festivals or any other spiritual shows, when in previous years when I was married and quietly working without sharing my past, they were eager to have me over. This is the discrimination I have seen here even in London. Essex and India.

People start treating you as if you are lower than them and I have been spoken badly to by those I shared my story with, as I because of my recent past experiences in personal relationships, I am negative as a person towards the rest of humanity. I am sorry but for your kind information, I have never been a fan of human species. In my opinions humans are at the lowest level of evolution, trees and plants being at a higher level, even insects and other creatures or animals such as monkeys are at a higher level than us. Humans are the ONLY species on this planet that are destroying the planet. So if I sound negative about humankind in general – or say that humans are demons it is a personal conviction I have and sincerely ashamed to be part of human race, a race that terrifies and frightens other animals, hurts then, abuses them, controls them, treats them like slaves for personal petting, enjoyment, breeding, or for food, clothing or other products. To every other living being on earth, and to earth on the whole, humans are the Devil.

The human race is at the lowest of all vibrational states as compared to other species who are carnivorous only out of the fact they are unable to think in complex ways and are programmed to hunt. We are able to think and release ourselves from programs to kill, hunt or abuse others, still we behave less than other animals and argue that we have canines and are omnivores to justify our rape and murder of other animals – the best, politest, kindest and sweetest of human beings (who are very nice to other humans) do this all the time. More than 99% of these are these type of humans of earth and we meet them all the time – even in spiritual circles and climate change strikes. No matter how nice you are to them and explain the points diligently when asked, without intruding upon them, without being aggressive, they still simply do not care. They care about the taste of dairy milk, cheese or eggs, that is what they love, and your friendship or the planet or pain of other species means nothing to them. Zero empathy.

The rest of the one percent are plant based – not even really vegan as they may be in it for health reasons. They will still use leather, fur, feathers animal hide and other products even in their spiritual products.

And veganism is not the only factors in ascension frequencies – it is only the starting point.

As regards my recent relationship experiences, I have never been anything but a feminist, I have never been a fan of male chauvinism or of patriarchy and was only because of my spiritual profession and work tolerating abuse by a man, because I knew that the moment I tell people what is happening to me, especially spritual friends and clients, they will stop taking advise or support from me for their spiritual work and I will lose the only income source I had, my Magick shop in Mumbai. I was 100% sure that I will lose my network, clients and reputation the moment I shared rape and sexual abuse facts with my spiritual friends or clients as that shop and flat was my only place to live as my PR business was taken by my sister and she would not let me enter my mother’s flat if I left my own. I was trying to hold on to material comfort which was my fault.

I knew the moment we expose that we are in any kind of trouble especially in our personal lives, our clients refuse to visit us any more as they want only those people who are never into any problems to help them – they think they should stay away from others who have any negative ‘energy’ as if being abused means our own energy was negative. They don’t even know that no matter how postiive you are personally it does not mean you will not be abused – look at farm animals for instance – they have done nothing wrong, yet are abused. Those who are kinder or less violent or aggressive get treated even more badly from others. Our spiritual compassion and forgiveness becomes an excuse for others to attack us even more and use our spirituality as an excuse to stretch their boundaries with us to an unhealthy extent.

Believe it or not spiritual people are the first to condemn the victims and blame and shame them. They think that they must respect only those who have had most perfect lives and force us to pretend and project a false image as if ‘all is well’ and there is nothing wrong with their world. They want only positive posts, positive images, positive words and flowery tone.

Something is wrong with the world – we are not in a great world, we are in a world that has a lot of evil in it and it is our fault as a human race. We have racism, sexism, specieism and do not have basic level of consciousness as a specie. If you disagreee with me and think that we as humans are wonderful people and a blessing to our planet, I beg to differ, we are not a great blessing to our planet, we are simply trying to ruin it a LITTLE BIT LESS but crying against fossil fuels or animal abuse and demanding a ‘just’ transition in our systems.

We still have wars and nukes, we still have weapons and crimes, we still have legal female genital mutiliation in some countries and widely practiced in others, we still have countries in which women are flogged publicly, we still have legal marital rape even in countries such as India famous for spiritual enlightenment where a penis (linga) is worshipped and yoni supposed to be penetrated into by man. People speak highly of Buddha but even he they say died of eating pork. We still have dairy and animal products EVERYWHERE even in this computer’s LCD screen – that is the joke we are as a human race, none of us, even the greatest of our spiritual masters have been aware, leave alone enlightened. I include myself in the unenlightened lot, a demon merely learning how to be less negative as each one of us is. Nothing godly or divine about it.

If we manifest anything in life, anything – it only means we are plugged into a computer system – one that is generating a hologram, an illuson around us – that is simply put the SECRET, the Law of Attraction – nothing great about it, nothing to feel proud of, nothing holy or spiritual or divine. It means we are controlled and in the false world, a sham, a virtual reality. Not a God, not a Goddess, channling a higher power, but merely a dreamer is who we are, living in a mind based reality ‘show’.

Seeing the TERRIBLY slow pace at which change is taking place…and how people generally argue and fight CONSTANTLY even for their ‘rights to consume eggs, dairy, chicken and meat’ and are unable to make any personal change while saying they are victims of a political system – a system we have created – there is very very slim chance of our ascension as a civilisation. We want change but we do not want to change. In all probability we will destroy our planet instead of ascending it. We are on earth because we are learning lessons, we are not ready to ascend to a higher level or dimension except internally at times in our dreamworld or fantasy while being in an AI/ VR program, as slaves who are bound to earth, kept controlled in hell and dreaming of heaven – that is all.

Most people do not even want Ascension or freedom from the matrix – they just want to live here itself in thie Virtual Reality – and they will discourage to the best extent possible anyone who is a seeker of truth. They seek illusion (maya) and worship this maya which is comfortable instead of truth which awakens us – the uncomfortable truth – that we are all controlled, not just by politics, not just by governments or religions, but by a virtual reality based simulation, a computer simulation – and they just do not care. All they care about is food, having a pleasant or comfortable life, enjoying themselves, and being happy within this prison called earth and very patronisingly telling me also to do what they do and accept their opinion and belief as the ultimate truth – they have had no personal experiences as I have had of the simulation but still insist I must do as they say as if they are the final authority. That is our level of awakening on the whole.

Some Blocks to Ascension: Family Values and Social Mores


Sometimes the biggest personal blocks to changing ourslelves, healing and transformation comes from our own attachment to our family and close relatives. We are so used to them, so much in love, so worshipful of our parents, so respectful of relatives, that we end up doing a lot of things they do and copy the same habits that they in turn have been learning from the world around them, from their ancestors, from media, science, schools or even spirituality.

My school teacher in year one itself called for a special class on why we should not be vegetarian, explaining that ‘plants have life too’. It was a popular joke in family dinners that ‘We love animals, because they are so tasty’. So ingrained this was in my psyche since early years that it never bothered me that there was slaughter or exploitation involved against another creature’s free will. In my Wicca degrees gained from a western tradition they ridiculed Jains for not eating meat to educate their Wiccan followers that ‘Harm None Do As Ye Will’ does not extend to animals as it is extreme to be vegetarian, leave alone vegan. Being enchanted with western superiority and power over Indian culture a lot of Indians follow the western spiritualists, philosophers and scientists with a lot of respect. This is not to say that Indian or eastern philosophy is perfect, just that our education system has globally been fashioned around British principles to a toxic extend with English being the most popular language all over the world and degrees in English highly sought after.

My father was a brilliant man and loved the idea of space exploration. he wrote the first ever children’s Hindi science fiction novel in India published in a hugely popular children’s magazine in four parts as recorded in the Indian book of records. He always said, if the world is coming to an end, do not worry, we can always build a spaceship and find a new planet to live on. Because the universe is unlimited and there are infinite starts and planets around. This is what science has taught us through our schools and through our fiction novels, that we can destroy our planet and cooly find a new one to destroy. This to us is a mark of human superiority, our technological prowess.

It appears that there are four types of galactic civilisations according to a very popular system. The Kardashev scale is a method of measuring a civilization’s level of technological advancement based on the amount of energy they are able to consume. So Type 1 uses all of the energy of our planet (apparently we humans are aspiring to reach that level), Type 2 will use all the solar system energy, Type 3 galactic energy consumer and so on. This is called progress? Using more, consuming more, taking more? Destroying whatever we see, consuming and eating up our planet, and then the universe itself!

The Kardashev scale was first explained by my very intelligent (brilliant like my father) husband who was an ardent follower of Yogananda and his master Swami Yukteshwar who wrote The Holy Science and described how Yugas are related to scientific advancement. According to their philosophy we are not in Kali-yuga but Dwapar yuga or new age with the darkest of all times behind us. While I like that thought they also say we are ascending in consciousness level as we have invented electricity and now are using more and more energy and advancing scientifically so that we will be even more powerful. Of course I never agreed with this philosophy that Yugas are related to science and technology, to me it is only and only about morality and reducing our impact on earth, being less harmful to the environment and to other beings and to be less demonic as human beings on earth who are destroying our world.

To me Sata yuga has no gadgets or technology at all, these machinations being harmful to nature and not in alignment with the spirit world, who is telepathic and has no need for gadgets. In Sata yuga in my opinion we will meditate and develop our hidden powers of intuition and telekinesis instead of gadgetry and weapons, and be so morally clean that we wouldnever think of using these powers for any kind of evil or harm to others. We will be kind, take nothing much from nature, exist blissfully without needing to chop a single tree or animal, or build a concrete jungle, leave alone mining for metals and blasting away the planet looking for things to consume and build spaceships with. Energy from within channeled from the higher self, not craving for more and more from around us, seems like the only right way of using energy.

Similarly we have been taught to be proud of our skills to manifest success in our material life. New age spirituality has brainwashed us to think ‘more’, want ‘more’, dream ‘more’ and create ‘more’…and so we perform our daily chores but also attract ‘more’ money, wealth, cars, toys, artefacts, jewels, wealth, property…we all want to be billionnaires as feng-shui would want us to be. We learnt how to use special stones and affirmations to ensure we are streaming more and more ‘abundance’ into our lives in the form of financial prosperity. While this teaches us about how to manipulate energy, unknowlingly we are becoming victims of a system that values money and wealth earned through exploitation of our planet. Our cars, real estate and jewels are not ours to keep, they hurt our planet and destroy our eco-system. We should as spiritualists be seeking less not more, letting go, not attracting, be celibate not wanting more sexual relationship success, be a minimalist not someone who consumes more and more.

When I realized this I felt a sense of relaxation as if years of stress of so called ‘success’ has been taken away from my head, the need to ‘balance spirituality with materialism’ as read in so many new age textbooks by leading authors of the western world and ‘tantra’. No longer do I need to enchant relationships into my life, nor do I need to magic more money, luxury or big houses into my little world. I can be content with what I have nd try to let go even more. It never felt good anyways, trying to attract relationships and money or property, something always felt very wrong at a very deep level, adn obviously it felt like I am in illusion, the money and clients illusion, and all my popularity an illusion, a dreamworld or matrix. From then on I am only letting go. At times I have not had a lot of money, probably not enough to eat a grand meal, but strangely I had no hunger either. There are days I had no food and was perfectly healthy and doing my daily chores without fainting. Even avoiding water and food at times was fine for some days when fasting, although it is not for me to advise others to try it. I have not continued this beyond a week or so and still eat a little or have a cup of hot chocolate and some snacks or fruit daily and cook healthy meals for my son, eating leftovers because I hate to waste food. But I am impressed that we actually can live with so very little, we can conserve instead of consume energy, use our inner resources instead of outer ones, even breatharianism is possible.

During Ascension for a lot of us, the veils are being lifted off, we are learning how not to be enamoured by our history:

  • We are learning not to be proud of the wars our forefathers faught that the matrix has taught us to be proud of.
  • We are learning that just because our parents love eating meat or dairy we do not have to be respectful of this heinous practice and must very kindly express ourselves and explain why we disagree withut fighting.
  • We are learning to not reach out for that bottle of spiderkiller spray or how not to swat mosquitoes and flies away, instead of use ethical alternatives and keep our homes clean in the first place.
  • We are learning how not to grow with weedicides and to not throw away weeds but to integrate nature into our gardens.
  • We are learning how to not use trees for wood or paper just because we grow a tree for replacement, but to use ethical alternatives instead.
  • We are learning to use less land, less water, less food just for luxury or pleasure and consume only what we truly require.
  • We are learning how to adopt children and rescue animals to satusfy our parental cravings instead of producing more children.
  • We are learning how to place our crystals back into earth for healing our planet, back into our seas and soil with intentions for healing nature instead of using them for personal wellbeing.
  • We are learning how to use less wifi, less phones, less computers and not be addicted to them or increase their demands in the world by buying more.
  • We are learning to print less paper and save trees, use bamboo or other sustainable paper only if absolutely necessary
  • We are learning to use herbal compost toilets where we can instead of flushing systems and wash our bottoms thoroughly instead of waste toilet rolls made of tree pulp.
  • We are learning to use natural herbs instead of chemicals for washing, bathing, shampoo, dental care.
  • We do not value plastic anymore, we know there was life before it and there will be a better life after it, and without all those synthetic fabrics too.
  • We do not need to travel and go on expensive holidays and fly about, instead we have Greta Thunberg showing us how to not fly a jet plane.
  • We are learning to question the system around us that we created to suit our past level of awarenes
  • We are learning to switch off the television, not engage in politics, stop watching newsfeed all the time, not to gossip about people, not to google up for everything and meditate instead.
    These are all beautiful ascension practices to learn, that help us evolve to a level that is lesss materialistic, less consumeristic, and more ethical.

However that is not all, we also need to learn how to develop our inner spiritual self and sixth sense or Extended Sensory Perceptions for Ascension by seeing the unseen, knowing the unknown. Spiritual awakening is about making our subconcious more conscious. It is about self-witnessing, going within and no longer engrossed in the self deception that the world is any way real. We are wearing off and getting exhausted living in an artificial simulation that some of us recognise is a false world pulled over our eyes. We are looking for answers. And that requires some courage – the courage to let go and challenge everything we have learnt from our ancestors.

Six Ways to Free Yourself from Domestic Abuse

In the human world one of the most common crimes is also one of the most underreported ones. Domestic Abuse. Primarily associated with partner crimes and violence against women and children, domestic abuse is common in almost every nation of the world as a gender liked crime, although sometimes men claim to be victims too.

Most of the times cultural norms and family expectations force people to be mute witnesses and victims, having little or no way to escape once in a domestically abusive family situation. So how does one free oneself from the dramas:

  1. Being Aware: In schools and colleges we learn a lot of things but not always those things that matter. We are infact abused and controlled throughout our schoolage by parents, teachers and relatives and for most of our lives we remain unaware of the fact that we have been abused. For example control and coercion is not always recognised as abuse although it is fairly common. We are taught about academic subjects that help us join the workforce and contribute to the economy and not necessarily those things that help us evolve into better humans, such as self respect, respect to others, consensual sex, sexual and reproductive freedom, human rights and child rights. We all need to complete basic education and courses such as The Freedom Program. Learn about all aspects of domestic abuse, its signs and symptoms such as economic abuse, financial control, dowry, forced marriage, mental harassment, sexual control and coercion, physical violence, emotional abuse, blackmailing, threatening, turning children against you, revenge through cross allegations made once you report crimes, blaming, denial and minimising abuse, lack of empathy and physical or mental control.
  2. Learn about Laws: Laws concerning gender, crimes, domestic abuse and marital rape differ from nation to nation. In some countries such as India marital rape is still not illegal. On some countries such as those in middle east, women are punished for simply refusing to cover up their body or face or flogged. Hence the laws themselves abuse women and control them in ghastly ways. Depending on the country you live in you can decide to educate yourself of the laws and if they are regressive you can find ways to leave the country through higher education and start new chapter or find support in gaining some independence. Activism and joining movements to liberate other victims like you can help create social change. Human laws are impermanent and can be altered to evolve with times. Writing to government agencies and ministries and signing petitions can also help in initiating change through advocacy.
  3. Be Independent: Financially and emotionally women and taught to have a man in their life and get married in many cultures. These are the same cultures that value childbirth and use women for reproduction and as sexual slaves or domestic workers within marriage. Household chores, childminding and sex are the roles attributed to women in these societies where marriage is highly respectable and being a mother is seen as the highest role for a woman, especially producing a male child. It is time to shun such conventions. If marital rape and domestic abuse are norms in your country then it is advisable not to get married in such a culture or with a man from this kind of an upbringing and to focus on career or personal and sexual freedom. Women more often than men are not always interested in sexual subjugation and physical relationships, and value deeply emotional connections instead of sexual ones. In human world, unlike rest of nature women have considerable bleeding in periods and PMS although other species have very little or no bleeding. We are also forced to mate more often than needed as per our once a month ovulation cycles would normally permit and to continue being sexually active even after menopause. This is because of the ‘matrix’ brainwashing women through media to be sexual beings in service of men who control them making them feel stressed, feel less in power of their inner self and disconnected from nature.
  4. Spirituality: It might seem off the topic but having an interest in spiritual rather than physical, material and sexual aspects of life can be very liberating from a karmic perspective. Being engrossed in relationship entanglements, family dramas, property battles and children will not allow us to meditate and develop our ascended powers. New age, occult and tantric ideologies sometimes confuse us to follow a ‘balanced’ path of material, spiritual, sexual and sensual enjoyment as a part of new age spirituality. This is simply another trap in the matrix that wants to control us and keep us entangled in daily life maya. The path of ascetic spirituality is a celibate path and not one of sensual temptation that is simply the matrix controlling us and creating illusions in the hologram through five senses. Once we are domesticated it becomes very difficult to seek liberation from the matrix as we are continually forced to earn money, follow conventional lifestyles and live for our children who are forced to grow up in the same system of the matrix as we did instead of learing off the grid, spiritual and eco-conscious ways of life.
  5. Visualise and Manifest: Your mind creates your own illusion of life and by thinking and visualising a certain situation you put energy and intention into it. However you also need to clear and cleanse the negative programs in the background, in your chakras and in your inner energy field where your memories, emotions and karmic baggage is stored. Very important is to get rid of the false ideologies that keep you engrossed in victimhood, ideas about ‘being compassionate towards abusers’, ‘accepting people and continue being with them’, ‘making peace with your circumstances and accepting the way things are as unchangeable’, ‘trying to meditate and stay calm if someone is abusing you’, ‘being vulnerable’, ‘allowing people to be themselves around you and do as they will even if they harm you or others’, ‘showing your other cheek’, ‘forgive and forget’, ‘unconditional love of others and not yourself’, ‘giving not receiving’, ‘visualising that others have changed instead of visualising a change in your situation’ and so on. These false beliefs do not serve us.
  6. Establish evidence: Domestic abuse agencies, police, social workers, media articles as well as training programs will always encourage you to report crimes and ‘come out with it’. This is sadly not something that always results in your being supported as a ‘victim’ once you report the crimes. The police and courts will want evidence of crimes and this is not just your reports or that of your children who are witness or victims. The law demands third party witnesses who have directly seen crimes and recorded evidence in most cases that are very difficult to obtain because they happen behind closed doors. If you just run away after reporting domestic abuse or rape, you are liable to suffer the hardships of legal battles over child custody and property later on unless you reach an out of court settlement with the abuser which is impossible if they are of unreasonable behavior and selfish as may be their family members. Hence in many cases you need to collect photographs of injuries or use spy cameras wherever possible and also talk to neighbours, medical professionals and family friends so that they can report incidents overheard or seen by them promptly as soon as they take place else the same will not be accepted if delayed by a long period of time. If there is no evidence the only way to be free yourself is to remove yourself from the unhealthy relationship where you can never be found again by the culprit and change your identity which is not always possible if you are a public person or have an established business or career and not enough support in moving away. Even if you do go to a refuge or take support of relatives, you still risk the prospect of stalking and harassment once abusers try to find your whereabouts using law, especially if you have a child they have parental responsibility of.

Here are some modern technologies that can assist you in evidencing this heinous crime and being free from a legal and long term perspective which can help limitedly based on the laws of your land.

16 Signs of Narcisstic Pattern of Abuse – by Melanie Howarth

Naricisstic abuse is a phenomena that a lot of us are hearing about off late but it has been a fact of life since millenia. In this article Melaine Howarth, reputed tarot expert who counsels individuals over Tarot and Tea (psychic and healing services), gives us a few pointers to help us distance ourselves permanently from narcissistic abusers by recognising these entwined patterns.

Narcissism is a trait, the term being inspired by the Greek myth of Narcissus who was in love with his own reflection in water. Narcisisstic abuse on the other hand is about narcissists using other people emotionally and manipulatively towards their own self-serving agenda of drawing all sympathy and attention towards themselves.

Empaths, healers and kind or compassionate people often are highly attractive to Narcissistic Abusers who present themseves as needing the empathy they demand. When you get drawn into their drama, using a variety of tactics, narcisstic Abusers drain their victims out to focus entirely on themselves and their own myriad needs, sometimes in conjunction with other forms of abuse. These tactics are not limited to the following:

  1. Forced Intimacy: Usually at the beginning of a relationship, a person who is a Narcissistic Abuser might want to force themselves upon you, mentally, emotionally and at times using physical intimacy. They might begin the relationship by immediately declaring their affections or love, or expecting you to accept them completely and unconditionally at their sudden, persistent and intimate demands for affection.
  2. Oversharing: They could since the start of the association, share all about their childhood, their previous rejections and emotional hurts, and their life history or family traumas to secure sympathy from you. Be forewarned that if they are complaining about their ex partners or previous interests to you in the beginning, then you might be the next person they will complain about once you begin to move away from them.
  3. Future Faking: Tall promises may be projected by Narcissists to their prospective partners, often convincing you that they will be the ideal person to fulfil your dreams and ambitions, and making you comfortable with an imaginary future where you will be secure and fulfilling all your goals and desires with them.
  4. Triangulation: In case you ever express any loss of confidence in them, they will try to bring in another person, which need may or may not be another romantic interest. For example it could be another member of their family, or a friend, in an attempt to make you feel insecure. They will use this other person to make you feel that you need to vie for their attention or prove your affection, as there is someone else who supports them entirely and you will feel like your are judged.
  5. Managing Down Expectations: Once the relationship is mid-way if you feel that you are losing out on your life goals and plans, and not paying attention to your own needs, they will try to make you feel content with having less of whatever you had initially planned for in your life. They will justify you having to live with them or being part of their life even if it is directly or indirectly harmful to your abundance and best interest.
  6. Shock Tactics: To get more energy and attention from you, especially when you are returning to your senses or trying to move away from them, they will use shock tactics, for example threatening self harm or suicide, or displaying that they are in pain, or showering a lot of false concern. They may also try to gain your respect and gratitude by suddenly declaring something positive so that you gratify them. They will exhibit sudden behaviors that shock you so that you have no idea how to react, and get confused.
  7. Love Bombing: On one hand narcissistic abusers will gratify themselves and make you feel drained, on the other hand they will, in case you try to move away from them, bestow you with flowers, gifts or intimacy when you expect it the least so that you stop waking up from their manipulation and get overwhelmed with their sudden care and concern to yourself, no matter how shortlived.
  8. Plausible Deniablility: Complete denial of all their negative behavior and the possibility that they are at fault is a common factor in narcissistic abuse. These abusers deeply lack empathy towards others and never acknowledge or understand how their behavior affects those who are their victims. They are more likely to blame you instead of accepting their own guilt at any point of time.
  9. Distraction Reaction: Distract, confuse, disorient are the three words that underlie the manipulative urge to control you. The moment you start seeing through them, they suddenly express something that makes you focus on something else entirely so that least attention is given to the important issue of the abuse you are facing, and all attention instead goes to a non-issue that pops up out of nowhere.
  10. Gas Lighting: Telling you that you are crazy, mentally ill, that something is inherently wrong with you, your family members, your child, or another issue that is completely false and yet brought to attention is a tactic used by Narcissist abuser. More often than not, they succeed in gas-lighting you or others by making a convicing propositon based on a false premise so that you feel as if something is actually wrong with you or your supporting family or friends so that you get isolated and shamed.
  11. Guilt Tripping: Making you feel bad about wanting to leave them, making you feel like a terrible person, someone who is not nice to them, lacking ’empathy’ to them, not being supportive, caring or loving enough to them, accusing that you are hurting them, and other forms of strong emotional blackmail is used by narcissistic abusers to keep you from going away.
  12. Confidence Erosion: To reduce your self-importance, narcisstic abusers state things that are negative about you and indicte that you are a ‘loser’, ‘bankrupt’, ‘unsuccessful in life’ and by making you feel worthless by name calling. Your confidence may also be at an all time low simply because your life has indeed been harmed by their overwhelming, all-mighty and omnipresent behavior, they make you as dependent on them as possible and ensure you have no faith left in yourself.
  13. Silent Treatment/ Abandonment: At times when you expose your vulnerabilities, in an attempt to control you, narcissistic abusers will stop talking, show how cold they are, withdraw their symapthy, and leave you to yourself when you may be ill, needing comfort or in pain, or when you express any difficulties with the relationship. It wil feel as if you do not exist at times and your efforts do not matter as you remain unheard.
  14. Victim Mentality: The best defense is offense, seems to be the tactic of Narcissistic Abusers. They will declare to the whole world that they are the victims and you are the one who was actually guity of causing harm to them. They will blame you in every possible way, by showing that you are the abusive partner and even call you a narcissist instead of accepting that you are their victim and they are at fault. They will also declare themselves as mentally depressed, suicidal, in trauma due to your behavior or pretend to be physically hurt by you and complain about your behavior.
  15. Hoovering: Naricssistic Abusers want you to be as trapped as possible and as comfortable and used to their constant presence in your life, so that it is impossible to escape. They will be around you as much as they can if they feel you are moving away and try to monitor your movements.
  16. Control and Control Validation: Not only will Narcissistic Abusers control your psychologically and emotionally using manipulations, lies, melodrama and acting-out, they will also justify their behaviors. For example if they check your emails or intrude upon your social media activities, they may state that they are doing this to protect you, not allowing you to meet others as you are naive and they are keeping you safe from harm. Iterfering in your business or private matters will be justified by saying they are caring, or that you are physically or mentally ill and need their support. As such they will make you feel as controlled, isolated and helpless as possible and get away with it by saying that they are justified in doing so.

The only way to be safe from the dangers of Narcissistic Abuse is to completely cut off from these individuals, to have no contact whatsoever, and to seek therapy and counselling to make sense of what happened to you. The key to your freedom is to be able to move on without being lured back into fulfilling the endless pit of demands of narcissistic abusers.

 

Based on inputs from Melanie Howarth.

melanieMelanie Howarth has been studying and giving Tarot readings for over 30 years and in addition to being a Therapeutic Tarot Practitioner, and a Holistic Health Therapist. https://www.tarotandtea.co.uk

 

 

12 Warning Signs of An Unhealthy Relationship

We all love the concept of love. While it is rare to find a perfect relationships and we all make peace with a few imperfections along the way there are some very clear warning signs that tell us to stop and think about where we are going. We cannot manifest a healthy and happy planet, if we are entangled in partnerships that drain us out. Here are a few red signals to be mindful of:

  1. That Unsure Feeling: When we meet someone new and logic tells us they are nice whether in terms of appearance, presentation, their mood or behavior, there might be secrets untold that your psychic powers already have full knowledge about. Most of us are not completely in touch with our inert sixth sense however, and we go largely by outer appearances that are deceptive. Try to take a few deep breaths and close your eyes, looking within yourself, and breathe in and out of your heart. If the relationship is a romantic one, try to ignore what your sexual impulses are telling you for a while, and focus purely on your inner self. If your heart feels unsure, in any way, or your mind worries about this person and his or her impact in your life, do not get ahead of yourself and decide that you will handle problems when they appear, or try to ‘think’ positive when things clearly are not. Try to honour the whispers of your heart and the signals your sixth sense is picking up. You will probabally hear your intuition talk to you from inside giving your clarity.
  2. Body Language and Facial Expressions: Do they care about you? Are they listening? Do they feel comfortable in your presence in actuality? Regardless of what people say, what they think or feel may be hidden inside them. Using our perceptions we can often figure out when someone is pretending to be nice to us or being outwardly pleasant, while actually not really having any connection to us. Some people might be interested only in using us for what they need, but actually do not really like us or care about us. A relationship with them will be empty and meaningless, although socially acceptable. Look at their eyes – if they narrow their eyes, tilt their head away to their right, purse their mouth or flicker their lips one one side or both, they might want to be congenial but actually disdain you. Those who really share positive feelings with you will make positive eye contact, tilt their head forward, smile with their eyes, and it will become clear that they are genuinely happy to spend time with you, and you will enjoy your time with them.
  3. They Do Not take NO for an answer: Some people are so self-centered that they want you to only do as they say, or cater to their wishes. Many of these are energetic or emotional vampires, who want to drain you out. Any interaction with them, no matter how pleasant you aim it to be, will ultimately become like a battle of wills. Romance and sex with such people is an absolute ‘no’ simply because they will always want to be in ‘control’ of your mind and not just your body. They will guilt you into thinking that something is wrong with you if at any point of time you want a break from them, or are not interested in being with them. Sometimes people think that those who pursue them might be passionate and seriously committed as they are not taking no for an answer, but soon you will realize that their passion and committment is only to their own needs. They take relationships as a conquest and always need someone they can control to be in their life and it can be nothing but devastating to your entire life if you fall for the trap.
  4. Canniving Nature: While intelligence is a good personality trait, it is not always a sign that the person is of a kind or caring disposition. While kindness shows in feelings of warmth and relaxation, those who are cunning have their own attitudes that reflect in the way they speak or interact. You might catch them thinking or planning something when you were supposed to be looking away, as if they are ‘upto something’. They might be overly interested in politics, and even science, to the point that they do not usually follow their heart. They might be mindful but not able to be ‘heartfelt’. Their interests in life may be varied and multi-dimensional, however they may have difficulties being sensitive, emotional or empathetic to the needs of someone who needs their support or help. They will however get as much attention and sympathy to themselves when they need to, using a number of tactics and manipulations that ordinary people could never think of.
  5. Bad Habits: A person who is not interested in their own health and wellbeing, is very unlikely to be interested in contributing anything of value to your life or the planet. A big warning that someone is of a lower frequency and does not align with a positive vibrational set, is the presence of negative habits or addictions. If a pack of cigarattes that clearly states that it is injurious to health, is still something they can never do without, it is unlikely they would ever care to say no to anything toxic whatsoever. Alchohol, drugs and other intoxicants are the more obvious danger signs that tell you to avoid being close to someone, the less obvious but important ones are addictions to gadgets, sex, money, power, consumerism, unhealthy food, pharmaceuticals, gambling, coffee, fashion or anything else that seems like a crutch. Instead look for signs of inner security and independence so that you can both focus upon manifesting a wholesome lifestyle.
  6. Punitive Behavior: Some people seem like they are sympathetic and concerned about you and your wellbeing, but they also glare, pout, stare you down or raise their eyebrows whenever they are in disapproval of something. They also might want to humble you, make you feel guilty, act condascending, use foul language or blame you although it is entirely their fault. They might treat you like a child at times even if you are at their level , and be of intimidating presence when they want you to obey them and resort to physical violence or threats towards the end. A puffed up chest or important self-expression is often used by them to impress upon you that you are their slave. Their tone in speaking can often be very curt and to the point when they need you to comply with their strict instructions. They could use pointed fingers and strong voice to make you do as they wish. You do not need that kind of person to make you feel small, insecure and incapable. Instead you need someone who relaxes you and makes you feel that you are trusted, worthy and capable.
  7. Money Mindedness: One of the clear signs that someone is not right, is the way they control money for their selfish purposes, while not being kind or generous to others in need. Have you ever felt that your gifts were not reciprocated, you have kept loaning small or large amounts that never came back your way, that people asked you to help them financially stating emergencies that were fake or that they wanted you to keep being generous while being stingy when it was their turn. Controlling of one’s finances by others is also a strange pattern in such relationships. People who criticize you for your spending habits, take over your financial decisions, intrude into your business matters or overstep their boundaries when it comes to joint finances, are also not good to have as partners in any sense. This is most important in marriage and close business partnerships where one partner begins to show signs of control and domination.
  8. Jealousy: Power sruggles are never a sign of unconditional love. Some people make everything about their ego and feel threatened by who you are, whether it be your looks, popularity, success or personal choices, they make everything a matter of their concern when clearly they should be minding their own business. Some people come into our life just to bring us down. Their low sense of self-worth is evident from the fact that if they see you doing well in any area of your life, they would try to find some faults with you, or lower your energy so that you feel humbled in comparison to them. When they see you doing well in any area of life, it makes them feel like they have to either be better than you in that department, or somehow take something away from your life so that you both could be at the same level. This is terrible as it becomes an overall loss and nobody gains anything whatsoever.
  9. Dishonesty: Sometimes due to being overly trusting, we take everything stated to us as a fact instead of being alert for signs that someone could be lying or cheating on us. Indeed some people are so deceptive that the way they speak seems to flatter or impress even the most intelligent people. Manipulation is a trait that is not that easy to decipher and people who get away with it, can use this feature of their personality to control the minds of everyone around them. One must therefore be warned of early signs of dishonesty, even if they seem to be ‘white lies’. Those who are habitual of lying will also hide things that are shameful in the early stages of a relationship. Their entire objective is to impress you and make you feel so positive that you will think you are indeed lucky to have these individuals in your life. On closer observation, you will find many secrets that they should have revealed if they were really open and honest at the beginning, and many more undercover.
  10. Sympathy Seeking: If you are someone who believes in the virtues of kindness, compassion and grace, you are certainly going to be praised for the same. At the same time you will also become the target of those who use your kind and forgiving nature to get away with terrible misdeeds. It may be a good idea to remember that we are here in this life, not to please other individuals but to learn how to create a better world from within. By encouraging others to remain unethical and to not face any consequences of their harmful actions we allow evil to continue. Those who lack basic ethics, expect compassion from others even if they hurt and harm others all the time, and they can pretend to cry, suffer and be in great pain just to make sure you do not leave them, or seek assistance from anyone else who might be able to help you in breaking free from their vicious control. If at anytime you stand up against injustice, or for your rights and that of others, they will guilt-trip you into letting them get their way.
  11. Lack of Empathy: Do you feel your friend or close companion does not really care about the planet, shows disregard for animal rights or has no interest in any real charity or cause, except themselves. People who lack empathy also lack vision or determinination to support others or to be of use to the world. These people are unfortunately very common. Every other person in the world would, for example, claim to be a kind person, but refuse to buy products that are not ‘cruelty free’ thereby indirectly contributing to the hurting of other creatures. For most of such people, their priorities are convenience, pleasure or their need to be in control of their decisions, so much so that they rarely care to think of how their decisions affect others or the planet as a whole. Morality and conscience are very hard concepts for some people to grasp as they strictly go by how they can ‘fit in’ along with the rest of the system, like robots or machines in the Matrix of human consciousness. They strive for outer or materialistic success but remain hollow from within.
  12. Blaming: A common trait of people who are negative, is that they refuse to take any cognizance of their actions and instead blame you for everything at every step of the way. They feel that offense is the best defense, and therefore when faced with any prospect of introspection and self-transformation, they bring the focus back to you, pointing out your mistakes instead. It becomes impossible to change anything in such a relationship, because the person is totally not ready for change, and instead will want you to change for them, or dance to their tunes. If you try to get any professional to help you, they will use even that opportunity to make you feel like the culprit, for example in cases of domestic violence and partner crimes…it is very common that the victim gets blamed and the abuser pretends to be the ‘real victim’. As a result numerous hours or years will be drained in your trying to justify that you are, infact not guilty.

In short, when it comes to dangerous relationships, just as in the case of illness, disease and climate-change ‘prevention is always better than cure.’

The Path of Light-working and Ascension

Light = Awareness.
We cannot heal our reality and our planet for Ascension if we are blind to our own faults and continue on a destructive path of negative karma that leads to our downfall. We can be an angelic being of light not only through mental visualization but through an Actual Practice of Ascension which may include some essential life changes.

(1) Veganism and Spiritual Ethics: In the past spirituality and compassion has been more or less ‘human-focused’ with other sentient beings routinely being used in farming and as products or commodities. We have seen animals being hunted, killed for sport, their skins being used in drums and ritual gear, dairy products and honey used in spiritual rituals in India as well as non-vegetarian food being popular at spiritual celebrations in the west. Cruelty based products are not only dairy, eggs, meat, wool, honey, leather and fur but also many of our everyday consumer items and pharmaceuticals. Ascension is a path out of this matrix when we discover that all beings and not only human beings are part of the One Higher Self, Source, creator or True Self to whom we return through not just intellectual realization but actual practice of ethical living.

(2) Eco-friendly and Zero Plastic Lifestyle: While animal farming remains the number one destroyer of the planet, we also need to abandon the use of plastics which are non-biodegradable and adopt more eco-friendly and plant based options that can bring ourselves back in harmony with nature. We need to look around us and discover how we can replace plastic and junk with earth-friendly materials and adopt a lifestyle of minimalism instead of consumerism so that we can drastically reduce the trash we create everyday. In Ascension not everybody around us might seem to agree and we might find plastic constantly on the shelves whenever we go shopping, however minimizing it is possible if we keep trying our best until plastic is outlawed.

(3) Healthy Choices in Everyday Life: Ascension and spiritual healing do not happen in isolation within our mind, but are a synthesis of our mind, body and spirit into the light of oneness. No matter how many hours of meditation, yoga and healing, if we are still reaching out for cigarettes, narcotics, alcohol, meat, dairy or any other addiction out of compulsion, we are not able to experience true inner healing. Meditation, mindfulness, positive visualization and affirmations can only be a starting point of our practice of higher consciousness, which crystallizes in our actual everyday practice of mindful and conscious living. When we read our product labels carefully, choose organic and live foods, read the right literature, educate ourselves on how to make healthier and more positive choices, and detaching from toxic or unhealthy relationships, we are practicing Ascension.

(4) Kindness to All Beings and Self: Some people practice kindness and compassion only in outward human society and as polite gestures of social respect or conformity. Ascension is a path of authentic living and not merely about outward smiles and greetings of light. When we spend time in nature and meditate with our inner self, we discover the true meaning of kindness. Being abused or hurt in the process of being spiritual is unnecessary, as is ‘showing the other cheek’ if someone slaps us. We need to stand in our own authentic truth and refuse to be either victims or perpetrators of violence. We also need to refuse being mute-witnesses to violence against any other being so that we can openly help other people and creatures who require our support to be a true earth angel.

(5) Inner Peace that Radiates Outwards: We cannot create or manifest world peace by simply talking about it. We also need to bring ourselves into alignment with our higher nature in our actions. Inner does not only refer to our mind but also our heart and soul. Visualizing light and being in silence through meditation is one way of feeling peaceful in the moment, so is sending this peace and healing to our planet, because all of us are one being in the higher dimension of truth. Peace does not mean that only those who are meditative are required to be silent and calm, but also that others need to learn and practice holding the silent space of peace and tranquility so that we can stop wars, terror, abuse and crime in our world.

(6) Real Love not confused with Sexual Lust: In the matrix we have received the wrong programming that equated the word love with lust. We have been deceived into believing that romance is equivalent to true love and that we need to unite with a soulmate or twin-flame soul who is outside of us for Ascension. One of the truths we discover in spirituality is that everything and everyone outside is a part of the grand illusion that we are projecting into reality. For ascension we need to connect with our inner twin-flame which is our own authentic self instead of seeking anyone else to complete us. Spiritual masters and meditation gurus in the past have discovered the joys of asceticism and celibacy which can help us detach from sensual lust and unplugs us from the matrix of sensory illusions.

(7) Inner Consciousness of Sattvic or Truthful life: Falseness or artificiality has become the hallmark of human life over the last few millenniums. We seek more material comfort instead of inner peace and convenience over spiritual effort which prevents us from gaining consciousness. Truthful or Sattvic life is not based on pleasing others or giving more pleasure to ourselves, but one of detachment and self-realization. A Sattvic practice is not about seeking truth but about rejecting that which is false or illusion so that our inner truth shines through in the end. Letting go of all that feels Tamasic or dark, and also of the Rajasic or restless, whether in food, consumerism or any aspect of our culture is part of regaining consciousness.

(8) Inner Joy and Happiness: The path of Ascension and healing is an inner path. By demanding love, affection, kindness, sympathy and compassion from other people, we are unable to focus on our inner treasures of peace and happiness that are constantly present within. Whenever we feel desperate or needy for anything or any person on the outside, we need to first meditate and find our wholesomeness so that we can give more instead of taking more from others around us.

The Goddess without Stereotypes

As the world is moving from patriarchal religion based philosophies that exonerate a ‘male God’ towards an acceptance of the divine feminine, we see the word Goddess used ever so often. People typically see this word ‘goddess’ as the ‘outer energy’ of the world, the dancing ‘shakti’ of visible nature, the movements of seasons, cyclical moon-phases, changeable vibrations or flow and ebb. This is the traditional viewpoint of the Goddess, one which is still somewhat patriarchal and based in an indirect or subtle belief in a masculine God viewed as the ultimate creator and the feminine goddess as his Maya or vibration.

In this viewpoint that has been marketed to us through centuries of time, we have seen the Goddess as physicality in the form of a beautiful maiden or glamorous idol with gorgeous clothes, a desirable Aphrodite, Radha, Venus or Voluptas, or as a gentle and docile motherly being embodied as Sita, Kwan Yin or Lakshmi, a giver of love, or if we are feeling somewhat feminist, a warrior goddess such as Durga, Athena, Nike or a dark crone Kali and Hecate. Her traditional role – to give energy or Shakti to the masculine, to be the power of Shiva the God, to dance as the world in the form of Radha who loves the superhero Krishna along with his numerous Gopis and wives, or to be the provider or nature (Prakriti) to the unending needs of man (Purusha). She has been seen through the ages as the Kundalini or serpent-like energy controlled by the supreme Lord who wraps her above his head like river Ganges in his crown chakra. The goddess has been equated with the energetic universe that although vast and infinite, has an ultimate creator above her, visualized predominantly as God the masculine force.

How about if we start seeing the Goddess as the Supreme Creator, with the word ‘Goddess’ containing ‘God’ within, who is manifest as the world or universe, yet also simultaneously beyond it as the Source? How about seeing the ultimate being as a feminine and not just masculine form, as Goddess and not just as God? How about saying ‘Oh my Goddess’ instead of ‘Oh my God’ sometimes in your daily routine? We do not see a lot of people, including new age spiritualists do that very often, and although we might argue that the the word ‘God’ is used by us as a term beyond gender, why not try to see the word Goddess too in such a higher light. How about seeing the earthly manifestation or ‘avatar’ of the Supreme Creator as the female Christ consciousness born of the heavenly mother Goddess and not just as the Son of the heavenly Father.

This shift in consciousness or perception helps us let go of all these stereotypical images of the goddess as not just a sexual, reproductive and fertility based icon of seasonal shifts and earth energy, but also a higher trans-personal being with the masculine and feminine encased within herself. No longer is she merely a gender based ‘ultra feminine’ personification, but also a gender-free consciousness that can express as male, female or transgender, a consciousness that exists within  everyone. After-all gender is a notion that we all can and should rise above!

Enjoy this meditation to help unite the goddesses of the world into the higher Source being for personal ascension and earth-healing through Oneness consciousness and allow the divine feminine in you return to her true awakened self!

Six Ways To Being Our Authentic Self

In ordinary life we come across many people, each one wearing many masks. We all put-on our smiles and suppress our tears because ‘someone might be watching’. We refuse to feel our own emotions and barely know ourselves leave alone our neighbours or ‘friends’. Here are some ways we can drop the act and get closer to being who we actually are.

1. Spending Time With Ourself: Imagine you are alone, without your mobiles, laptops and in a place where there are no shops, restaurants or cinema halls to entertain you constantly. How long until you die of boredom? If we cannot be with ourself for even a few minutes, how can we get to know the ‘real self’? We need to truly enjoy getting to know ourself first before we can develop authentic relationships with others. Real happiness begins in the silent space of our own heart.alone1

2. Expressing Emotions Naturally: How often do people focus on being ‘polite’ and outwardly nice while holding on to unexpressed grudges and allowing misunderstandings to grow all the more. Instead if we could say what we feel with truthful kindness and without fear or hesitation, we could resolve whatever was bothering us mutually and get it out of the way early-on. Because we refrain from healthy self expression our bottled up emotions turn into ticking time-bombs that might erupt later causing much damage to ourselves and others. By allowing natural self-expression we return to our childlike self again.natural.jpg

3. Loving Our Natural Body: Do we judge ourself by our appearences and strive to be a perfect supermodel? Behind all the make-up and designer labels we might have a really beautiful person whom nobody really knows. Our natural skin and body-type is enhanced through healthy food, a happier life and a balance of physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Our disabilities, wounds or scars only enhance our inner beauty because they reveal our inner strength. We need to love our real face and inner beauty once again along with our natural body. body

4. Discovering Our Natural Abilities: Society, family, educators…all have their own expectations of what we should do in our life. Our careers, hobbies and talents are constantly shaped through role-models, media, parents or peers. The result – disregard for our actual self, missing out on our true life purpose and not being able to develop our inner talents or skills. By spending time with our authentic self and falling in love with who we are, we can give energy to ourself once again, regardless of our age or life situation. talent

5. Reducing Fake Interactions: A lot of us spend more time with people who might not even care about us at all, just because we expect them to help us in business or for the sake of networking. Social media becomes a place where everyone is shouting for attention, whether for likes on selfies or birthday wishes. Instead if we had even one true friend, a pet or our own self to have a truly heartfelt relationship with, we would not need thousands of false friends to exchange small-talk with. Instead of selfies and artificial greetings we could focus on self realization and deeper interactions built on love, trust and empathy. cat-2439124_960_720

6. Celebrating Ourselves: Throughout the world we have seen celebrity worship. Cinestars, television hosts, religious figures, bestselling authors..famous personalities have occupied the minds and hearts of people who are often victims of consumerism, branding and mass marketing. By loving our authentic self we can now allow attention to return to our true inner hero. We can celebrate our unique individual traits and also those of others around us. Instead of ignoring the real life talents of people who actually make a difference to our life we can honour ourselves and each other as real stars and reach out to each other more genuinely.people-2567915_960_720

Five Ways to Rise Above instead of Fight Negativity

We all have been ‘Warriors of Light’ fighting against evil and injustice. Just like heroes and superheroes in fiction who battle dark and oppressive forces, in real life we take up a similar role as activists struggling against day-to-day challenges, social evils, corporate control, political agendas and corrupt systems. While fighting the perceived enemy keeps us engaged in the ‘matrix’ of the world, could there be a better way to create the change we seek from within and elevate ourselves instead? Here are some ideas that can help us raise our consciousness and rise above problems:

  1. See Ourselves as Manifesters and not Victims of Situations: The entire concept of ‘us’ against ‘them’ is based on duality and the illusion of separation between ourselves and the others. If we see each other as parts of the same One consciousness who is manifesing the universe from moment to moment, we will know that none of us need to feel like victims any longer. In some way we are constantly manifesting each situation we are facing at all times. Through this empowered perspective, we can focus on what we need to manifest right now, instead of merely feeling sorry for ourself or the situation we are in. For example: we can use magical power of intentions to either manifest a new and positive situation in our neighborhood or to move all concerned into a better neighborhood in case the energy around has been pulling us down.ppl
  2. Transform Anger to Peace: When we focus on ‘fighting’ it is natural to feel upset, angry and frustrated at the state of the world and the myriad issues that disorient our mind. It feels as if the situation we are faced with is unjustified and ‘all wrong’ and that somehow we have to ‘fix it’ by force while protecting ourself from perceived danger. However, anger only creates more issues to be angry about. Our feelings have a direct correspondence with what we attract in our life. If we were to create a feeling of peace and calm within ourself, we can use our inner magical power through meditation and direct our inner-energy to generate a positive reality. We can replace any negative forces within our energy field that were reactionary and self-limiting, with positive consciousness. For example, when faced with an abusive partner, we might be better off in letting-go and being at peace with ourself on our own, instead of trying to fight with and ‘fix’ the person for a longer period of time. The peace within us will magically attract more peaceful people and situations in our life.peace
  3. Work Together For a Higher Cause: Fighing against each other can make us feel drained from time to time as we enter a lose-win situation periodically. Instead if we focus our intention on working together for the higher cause that benefits all concerned, we can place all our thought and emotional energy upwards – towards the ultimate futuristic goal. The focus we bring on the cause can help both sides see the light of higher perspective and the hidden opportunity of progress in the right direction with help and support offered to all concerned to make it a win-win situation. For example, if we would like to stop animals from being exploited in zoos, we can give better suggestions such as holographic simulation of animals to replace real animals in zoos in the near future, which can motivate existing zoos to start the transformation instead of fighting for survival of the old ways which will surely be obsolete one day. The realization that there is a better way and it will be futile to fight against the tide can make all parties begin the process of change at an inner level.gulls-2633864_960_720
  4. Take Back Your Power: Through social conditioning or mental brainwashing, we might have given our power away to others and feel as if we have to fight for the smallest of rights. We might feel that others are too strong and too established to ever change, and that we being much weaker and in lesser position of authority have to adjust and compromise with them. Instead of this attitude, we can recognize our power and create a revolution. For example, if we are upset at religious oppression of women in certain nations, instead of fighting with their internal religious systems to slowly ‘grant’ women some of their rights, we can recognize women’s rights as international human rights so that archaic regimes can be replaced with progressive ones. Often the motivation for such a major change comes from people within these oppressive systems who achieve enlightenment and set themselves free from control.sunset-3128170_960_720
  5. Find a Common Ground for Unity: Conflicts and opposition take place because we have not yet discovered love and compassion that unites us together. Through kindness and empathy we can see through our divergent point of views and reach a better understanding of each other regardless of our differences. When we place focus on the common values of love, peace, joy, freedom, wellness and abundance which are desirable to all beings regardless of race, culture, gender and religion, our differences suddenly seem less significant. By working together to enhance our experience of life through shared values we can reduce much tension and stress in our world and transform fights to harmony. For example, science and spirituality can come to a common understanding by the underlying theme of ‘consciousness’ that unites these two seemingly divergent subjects. yin-and-yang-1947878_960_720

Six Misconceptions Regarding Gender That We Can Let Go Of Today

Our soul has no gender. All of us are equally divine and each being has masculine as well as feminine traits within. For centuries women and those men with feminine traits have been oppressed and judged due to ignorance. Whether woman, man, transgender or gay, we all need to let go of these limiting fear based beliefs regarding our gender imposed by society.

1. Religious Authority: Whether through religion or culture, we have been wrongly taught that women should have fewer rights with regard to property, career, religious roles and sexual choices. Holy books of various religions have had outdated concepts regarding how women can be purchased in the guise of marriage, how man has the right over her body, and how women should not have freedom or equal property rights. LGBT community has been severely condemned without any rational reason. It is necessary to totally reject belief systems that have been oppressive and male dominated.

2. False Standards of Beauty: Through media and cultural traditions women have been brainwashed into believing that they must conform to socially accepted standards of beauty. The idea that women have to look a certain way has been propagated through images of dolls, glamorous stars and beauty pagents to sell fairness creams, high heels, chemical cosmetics, tight lingerie, silicone implants, slimming products and artificial perfumes that are expensive and hurt the body in the long run. It is time for women to stop being victims of false images and to choose inner health and wellbeing instead with love for their natural self.

3. Marital Control: The idea we need someone to complete us and that every woman must get married, especially by a certain age is prevalent as a social norm. In some cultures parents make marriage of the girl the biggest goal and pay the family of the groom to take thier daughters in marriage even though women are fairly capable of independence. In most cases life after marriage is more limiting for women who lose much of their freedom and perform free housekeeping and chilcare services as housewives while men continue in their careers. It is time to transform the notion that a woman is vulnerable without a man and needs to be tied down through the social control system of marriage.

4. Sexual Guilt: Men have traditionally been allowed to reveal their bodies freely and to be sexually open. In most cultures women have been made to feel guilty regarding their bodies and their sexual needs. Women in some countries have been routinely subject to horrors such as genital cutting and breast ironing, just because their body is seen as sinful. In many cultures a display of feminine cleavage or legs is unthinkable. Men are encouraged to be take the lead, flirt or be polygamous, or buy sexual services while women are afraid to be judged as loose if they dress down, try to take the lead or even if they are raped. Instead of continuing such gender biased traditions we need to completely dismantle them.

5. Sexual Abuse: Almost all women have suffered some form of sexual abuse, eve-teasing or molestation since childhood whether from male relatives, classmates, colleagues, boyfriends, strangers or from their own husbands. Living as a woman could be especially distressing with the constant fear of the way you are stared at or hit-on by men everyday. Looking a a woman as a sex object unfortunately begins while they are young while men are encouraged to see women as a source of beauty and entertainment for the pleasure of men. Marital rape still needs outlawing in some countries where it is just a norm. In others women are trafficked and abused as sexual slaves. The entire idea that a woman exists to serve the masculine sexual needs has to be discarded. The sexual consent and choices of a woman needs to be in more focus.

6. Reproductive Duty: That being a woman is all about motherhood has been falsely established in society. The purpose of a female as primarily reproductive to continue the bloodline of patriarchial cultures has only led to population explosion, gender imbalance, pressure to visit fertility clinics and to make child-rearing the most important duty of a woman. In contrast the world needs more focus on caring for existing population, care for nature, mindfulness, spiritual awareness and focus on managing our resources wisely.

In short a woman needs to be seen as person and not just as as a gender. Regardless of looks, body, sexual choices, marital status, motherhood status or religious beliefs all women can break free and be liberated right now with soverignity over their own life, their own body, mind and soul.

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