In the human world one of the most common crimes is also one of the most underreported ones. Domestic Abuse. Primarily associated with partner crimes and violence against women and children, domestic abuse is common in almost every nation of the world as a gender liked crime, although sometimes men claim to be victims too.
Most of the times cultural norms and family expectations force people to be mute witnesses and victims, having little or no way to escape once in a domestically abusive family situation. So how does one free oneself from the dramas:
- Being Aware: In schools and colleges we learn a lot of things but not always those things that matter. We are infact abused and controlled throughout our schoolage by parents, teachers and relatives and for most of our lives we remain unaware of the fact that we have been abused. For example control and coercion is not always recognised as abuse although it is fairly common. We are taught about academic subjects that help us join the workforce and contribute to the economy and not necessarily those things that help us evolve into better humans, such as self respect, respect to others, consensual sex, sexual and reproductive freedom, human rights and child rights. We all need to complete basic education and courses such as The Freedom Program. Learn about all aspects of domestic abuse, its signs and symptoms such as economic abuse, financial control, dowry, forced marriage, mental harassment, sexual control and coercion, physical violence, emotional abuse, blackmailing, threatening, turning children against you, revenge through cross allegations made once you report crimes, blaming, denial and minimising abuse, lack of empathy and physical or mental control.
- Learn about Laws: Laws concerning gender, crimes, domestic abuse and marital rape differ from nation to nation. In some countries such as India marital rape is still not illegal. On some countries such as those in middle east, women are punished for simply refusing to cover up their body or face or flogged. Hence the laws themselves abuse women and control them in ghastly ways. Depending on the country you live in you can decide to educate yourself of the laws and if they are regressive you can find ways to leave the country through higher education and start new chapter or find support in gaining some independence. Activism and joining movements to liberate other victims like you can help create social change. Human laws are impermanent and can be altered to evolve with times. Writing to government agencies and ministries and signing petitions can also help in initiating change through advocacy.
- Be Independent: Financially and emotionally women and taught to have a man in their life and get married in many cultures. These are the same cultures that value childbirth and use women for reproduction and as sexual slaves or domestic workers within marriage. Household chores, childminding and sex are the roles attributed to women in these societies where marriage is highly respectable and being a mother is seen as the highest role for a woman, especially producing a male child. It is time to shun such conventions. If marital rape and domestic abuse are norms in your country then it is advisable not to get married in such a culture or with a man from this kind of an upbringing and to focus on career or personal and sexual freedom. Women more often than men are not always interested in sexual subjugation and physical relationships, and value deeply emotional connections instead of sexual ones. In human world, unlike rest of nature women have considerable bleeding in periods and PMS although other species have very little or no bleeding. We are also forced to mate more often than needed as per our once a month ovulation cycles would normally permit and to continue being sexually active even after menopause. This is because of the ‘matrix’ brainwashing women through media to be sexual beings in service of men who control them making them feel stressed, feel less in power of their inner self and disconnected from nature.
- Spirituality: It might seem off the topic but having an interest in spiritual rather than physical, material and sexual aspects of life can be very liberating from a karmic perspective. Being engrossed in relationship entanglements, family dramas, property battles and children will not allow us to meditate and develop our ascended powers. New age, occult and tantric ideologies sometimes confuse us to follow a ‘balanced’ path of material, spiritual, sexual and sensual enjoyment as a part of new age spirituality. This is simply another trap in the matrix that wants to control us and keep us entangled in daily life maya. The path of ascetic spirituality is a celibate path and not one of sensual temptation that is simply the matrix controlling us and creating illusions in the hologram through five senses. Once we are domesticated it becomes very difficult to seek liberation from the matrix as we are continually forced to earn money, follow conventional lifestyles and live for our children who are forced to grow up in the same system of the matrix as we did instead of learing off the grid, spiritual and eco-conscious ways of life.
- Visualise and Manifest: Your mind creates your own illusion of life and by thinking and visualising a certain situation you put energy and intention into it. However you also need to clear and cleanse the negative programs in the background, in your chakras and in your inner energy field where your memories, emotions and karmic baggage is stored. Very important is to get rid of the false ideologies that keep you engrossed in victimhood, ideas about ‘being compassionate towards abusers’, ‘accepting people and continue being with them’, ‘making peace with your circumstances and accepting the way things are as unchangeable’, ‘trying to meditate and stay calm if someone is abusing you’, ‘being vulnerable’, ‘allowing people to be themselves around you and do as they will even if they harm you or others’, ‘showing your other cheek’, ‘forgive and forget’, ‘unconditional love of others and not yourself’, ‘giving not receiving’, ‘visualising that others have changed instead of visualising a change in your situation’ and so on. These false beliefs do not serve us.
- Establish evidence: Domestic abuse agencies, police, social workers, media articles as well as training programs will always encourage you to report crimes and ‘come out with it’. This is sadly not something that always results in your being supported as a ‘victim’ once you report the crimes. The police and courts will want evidence of crimes and this is not just your reports or that of your children who are witness or victims. The law demands third party witnesses who have directly seen crimes and recorded evidence in most cases that are very difficult to obtain because they happen behind closed doors. If you just run away after reporting domestic abuse or rape, you are liable to suffer the hardships of legal battles over child custody and property later on unless you reach an out of court settlement with the abuser which is impossible if they are of unreasonable behavior and selfish as may be their family members. Hence in many cases you need to collect photographs of injuries or use spy cameras wherever possible and also talk to neighbours, medical professionals and family friends so that they can report incidents overheard or seen by them promptly as soon as they take place else the same will not be accepted if delayed by a long period of time. If there is no evidence the only way to be free yourself is to remove yourself from the unhealthy relationship where you can never be found again by the culprit and change your identity which is not always possible if you are a public person or have an established business or career and not enough support in moving away. Even if you do go to a refuge or take support of relatives, you still risk the prospect of stalking and harassment once abusers try to find your whereabouts using law, especially if you have a child they have parental responsibility of.
Here are some modern technologies that can assist you in evidencing this heinous crime and being free from a legal and long term perspective which can help limitedly based on the laws of your land.