We all feel angry or upset at times and usually end up feeling even worse when we start expressing our anger outwards, especially when the person whom we are annoyed with retaliates or ignores us all the more.
Here are five simple steps that can help us manage our anger and transform it to peace:
STEP 1: Relax, Ground and Center. While many people advocate venting out our anger and expressing it fully as a release of emotion, there are some ways in which we can release all of the negative energy without actually harming others or our-self. A simple relaxation technique is to take a couple of minutes wherever you are to focus on your natural breath as you gently close our eyes and count down from ten to one. Feel all the stress flow down from head to toe and all the way into earth leaving you feeling much lighter. This way we quickly bring our heart rate and mind-rate down to a calmer level for clearer thinking. Catharsis can be another way in which we release anger in an inanimate object such as a pillow, however for those few minutes we still can experience agitation and negativity that sometimes harms our health from within. Meditative techniques such as the one given above can be quick and effective while enhancing our health and wellbeing at the same time.
STEP 2: Focus Within on the Real Inner Need. Continuing to be angry can sometimes keep us focused on something outside of us and beyond our influence at times, thereby blocking our energy or wasting it. As we calm our energy down and ground ourselves using the above method, we can can get down to focusing back on ourself or our real needs that will bring us true joy instead of spending countless amounts of energy and time in focusing on something frustrating. All anger is merely a reaction at something that did not feel quite right because of a real inner need that was not being met. We were in-fact looking for a solution to something that was simply out of balance in our life and the truth is, the solution is still well within our reach. Escaping to spas, shopping or daydreaming can be a temporary approach to change your mood but not the real solution which is ultimately based on a recognition of what matters.
STEP 3: Know that the Solution is Within You. By focusing on our inner need for we can now direct all our energy positively at meeting that need. We are not really angry at someone else or even at ourselves. We simply want something positive for ourself that we are quite capable of providing for our-self. For example we might be upset that we are late for work in which case the issue is a fear of being reprimanded by our colleagues, or a fear of losing our job. Translated into something positive, this merely indicates a deep inner need for enjoying your day at work. This can still be achieved to some or the other extent, regardless of the fact that you are late. Similarly if we are angry because our spouse was cheating, what we really need is honesty and integrity in relationships and this can be found regardless of how our partner behaves because we are still in-charge our choosing the course of our relationship.
STEP 4: Focus on Experiencing Joy. Once we do recognize that our anger is not really at someone but merely a sign to focus on what we need, we can get down to the basics of how to meet that real need. As we look within we find that there are wonderful alternative solutions. We might be able to discover better ways to fulfil our goals instead of feeling stuck because of someone or something that does not seem to work in our favour. For instance, if the need is to have a good day at work then instead of being angry that we are late, we can put all our attention to the ways in which we can improve our work with whatever time we have left, because quite simply we cannot bring back the lost time. Similarly we can focus on being honest in our relationships and seeking honesty in future instead of feeling stuck with someone who is not right for us. Ultimately we need to bring attention to that which brings joy from within and take the right steps towards experiencing that joy right now.
STEP 5: Trust Your Higher Self. We all have a higher version of ourself in the form of our own wisdom that is hidden within all our confusions and uncertainties. Regardless of how complex and tiring our situation may seem there is always this best version of our-self that can come to our aid. When we do start trusting this Higher Self, we find that amazing things happen with much lesser effort than what our anger and struggle were producing. Sometimes things do not go a certain way because there is a better way that will in-fact bring us true joy and fulfil our highest potential. There can be hidden opportunities to be discovered with everything that seems to go wrong. Being serene and trusting that there is great positive energy within us and somehow it will bring us exactly what we need will literally create miracles that you can see for yourself. Thinking of all the ways in which we can meet our inner needs and putting great mental and physical effort into working things out is one approach. Allowing the universe to work it out by magic through faith in our Higher Self and then taking the next step with relaxed positivity is another.
Let us know if the above methods worked for you in your comments below. You may also share the story to spread positive awareness.
You can get free positive articles in your email by Subscribing to The Positive Media.